Readers Share Encounters With Bad Manners

Dec. 2, 2003 -- When ABCNEWS.com asked readers to share their stories of encounters with bad manners, there was no shortage of replies. From hostile drivers to improper table manners to impolite elevator behavior, people describe their run-in's with rude behavior.

Rude on the Go

The other day I was riding the subway when I noticed the woman next to me clipping her fingernails. I tried to ignore her at first until I got hit with a few flyaway fingernails. I politely requested that she discontinue her public display of personal hygiene. She gave me a look like I was crazy. How could someone possibly think that this is an acceptable way to pass time on the train?

— Kacy Knight, New York, N.Y.

I ride a commuter train daily to and from work. The train cars have three levels, #1, where I ride, #2, a mezzanine, and #3, a top level. The people on level #2 are out of control. They yell, scream and bellow at the top of their lungs every night, nonstop. Their so-called laughter amounts to shrieks, screeches and yells. I am not opposed to normal conversation, laughing, etc. I am not an old fuddy-duddy who objects to people having fun. However, these people have no regard for others.

— Roseanna L. Steen, Fontana, Calif.

While driving on the New Jersey Turnpike I was in the right lane doing between 70 and 75 MPH. A woman came up behind me and when I wouldn't travel any faster she passed me and as she passed she gave me the finger.

— Rich Molinari, Milltown, N.J.

It’s the Other Generation

I hate to categorize folks but I think the 20-somethings and 30-somethings are sorely lacking in common courtesy, good manners, etc. It is like they were all raised in a barn. As I was walking out of a Costco some weeks ago, I was almost hit by one of these cretins who informed me that I should have been looking where I was walking. He had raced his SUV in front of me to pick up his perfectly able-to-walk spouse from the pick-up area for handicapped folks.

— B.J. Schaff Frederick, Md.

Just this morning I received a "wrong number" call. I answered the phone and was greeted by a very rude "Who's this?" The woman got huffy when I said "No, who is THIS?" Then she asked if this was the so-and-so residence. When I politely told her that she must have dialed the wrong number, she again very gruffly demanded, "what number is this anyway??" Where have manners gone? I'm only 38 years old yet I all too often find myself saying things like "when I was a kid we didn't behave like that."

— Jill Kovacs, Fairfield, Conn.

I was at a first-run movie theater. The couple in front of me were whispering throughout the first hour of the movie. I finally leaned forward and "shhhed" them. The man (not gentleman) turned around and said to me that I should "chill out." I said I would if he would be quiet. He told me to shut up. I was appalled and did not say anything more. This man was at least 60 years old and someone who should know better.

— Lisa Bertrand, Lisle, Ill.

We are now seeing the "Me" generation enter into the young adulthood. Manners have not been taught to these people. I observed a young man taking a young lady out for what looked like the senior prom dinner. The young man opened the door to the restaurant and proceeded to walk in front of his date and another lady through the opened door and did not even hold the door for his date. When the two young people were escorted to their table, the young man (boy) sat down first before his date even reached the table.

— Richard B. Saginaw, Mich.

Restaurant/Shopping Manners Lacking

I work in a nationally known restaurant as a server. I can tell you from many years of experience that the best place to catch bad manners is in a restaurant. People are hungry, their guard is down, and their natural selves come out, without 'please' or 'thank-you's.' They also come with open mouths when they chew, unable to pull their cell phones away for even 10 seconds to eat, speak to their dinner guests, or even answer their servers questions.

— Jaime Treat Bellevue, Wash.

I work in part-time retail, so I encounter many different people. Nowadays it seems people are trying to beat you into the parking lots, the parking spaces, in the mall doors, so they can get there ahead of you. Not only do they not hold the door open for a person coming in behind them, you never hear a 'thank you,' or a 'have a nice holiday' from a customer. Life has just gotten so fast paced, there seems to be no room for manners anymore.

— Martin G. Zilla Union, Dale, Pa.

I work part-time in a large department store, some of my run-ins with bad manners include: 1. While ringing someone up for a sale, the customer is on their cell phone throughout the entire transaction, not ever acknowledging me … even at the end of the sale. 2. If the merchandise is sold out, the customer becomes quite rude and blames it on me … do they not realize it's X-mas and everyone is shopping for the same thing? X-mas isn't a surprise, plan more accordingly.

— Diane Dunstan, Denver, Colo.

During the holiday season, I have seen it from both sides. Shoppers have no patience with clerks that have a crush of people to serve. With the credit cards in their hands and the old adage "the customer is always right" ringing in their ears, many feel entitled to verbally abuse the "hired help" and take a season's worth of frustrations out on some hapless store employee.

— Jennifer Daws, Kettering, Ohio

Poor Elevator Manners

My favorite: the guy who puts his hand in the closing elevator doors, gets on, then feverishly pushes the "close door" button. Real nice pal! It's a safety feature, not a convenience feature for your benefit alone. And this happens at a prestigious Wall Street firm full of your country club greats.

— Anonymous from New York, N.Y.

I work at a major corporation where the fruits of the best educational institutions in America have settled. I take the elevator at least twice a day. That's about 40 times a month. Of those 40 encounters with other people, usually men, perhaps one man a month will let me step in the elevator first or off the elevator first. The other 39 barrel on and off with no concern for me or other women on the elevator. It seems people strive so hard to select the proper car, the proper suit, the proper accessories of the business world, yet they give no thought to the fact that their manners or lack thereof speak far louder of their character than their Pierre Cardin socks!

— Toni Birdsong, Burbank, Calif.