Baghdad Journal: May 19, 2006

May 19, 2006 — -- As the great Ben Affleck said in the immortal film "Armageddon," "All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go ..." My three-week stint in Baghdad has come and gone, save for this last night when things could still blow up, I suppose. But in lieu of that, let's tie up some loose ends:

Fox the Dog? He will continue to thrive in the yard of our bureau and probably continue to smell.

The Iraqi Cabinet? The prime minister designate has cemented his vindictive policy against me by saying he will announce most of the new Cabinet tomorrow. This means I will not get to cover it, and all my Iraqi leadership flashcards have gone to waste. However, they have been unable to reach a deal on an interior or defense minister. This is a big deal, and a big, big failure. Remember, this date did not sneak up on anyone. They all knew they needed a solution, yet they could not reach one. This is an ominous sign for the future.

Thomas Jefferson? I am through more than 700 pages of the 1,000-page book. I do not consider this a success. My goal is to finish by the time Iraq has an interior minister (which means I could have a while). In the book, Jefferson just got elected president. He had no problem naming a Cabinet. His friends have taken to calling him T-Jeff.

ABC Bureau Chief Bruno Roeber? He bought new flashlights every day for the last three days. He still calls them torches. He doesn't use them ... he covets them.

ABC Producer Joe Simonetti? He got no fewer than three haircuts while in Iraq. Three haircuts in three weeks! And Joe does not have an abundance of hair to begin with. Let's just say the barber could practically give each follicle individual attention.

Lionel Richie? He is my new best friend. And he has a new single coming out in two weeks. Maybe Iraq will name an interior minister to celebrate. Maybe the interior minister will be Lionel Richie? At least Iraqis can agree on that. Remember, tune in to "Nightline" tonight at 11:35 p.m. ET to see my exclusive interview with Mr. Richie. Exclusive! No other network has ever spoken to Lionel Richie about Iraq.

So where does this trip rank? This was an odd visit. In some ways, I feel like I know less about Iraq than ever before (though I know more about Lionel Richie). There is a huge amount of uncertainty here. Iraqis are hopeful the new government will make a positive difference but are by no means convinced it will.

The "insurgency" was less of an issue this time than on any of my previous visits, but there is significantly more fear than I have ever seen ... fear of sectarian violence. Iraqis are scrutinizing every appointment to the Cabinet and every decision the government makes based on sectarian lines. This is a dangerous trend. Will it get worse or better? Who knows?

The hardest thing about leaving is saying goodbye to my Iraqi friends whom I have worked with over the years. They face an enormous burden here. People are being killed in Baghdad. They all have friends or relatives or neighbors who have been gunned down. And what is more, working with a Western news organization makes them even greater targets. I can come and go to Baghdad for three weeks at a time, but they cannot. For them, this is life.

After three weeks of fielding reader questions, I am now faced with one of my own: Will I come back? Every time I leave Baghdad, I ask myself that same question. The answer is, I don't really know. I continue to believe that this is the most important story in the world. A nation of 25 million people hangs in the balance. There are 130,000 American troops still here. And the success or failure of what could be the biggest policy decision of the Bush administration is still very much up in the air.

That is what pulls me back (along with the lamb and frequent-flier miles). However, it is getting harder and harder to justify coming. There are clear safety issues, and the more you keep coming, the more you keep thinking "sooner or later ..."

Moreover, interest in the story seems to be waning -- it is harder to get pieces on TV. There is that old question, "If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?" The Iraqi version of that is, "If a tree falls in the woods, and the forest is burning, is it worth risking your life to figure out if it makes a sound?"

So will I come back? I just don't know. So goodbye ... or until we meet again.