Fear and Humor on Saddam's Birthday

April 28, 2003 -- It's his party, and he'll cry if he wants to.

Saddam Hussein turns 66 today — if in fact he is still alive — but the deposed dictator of Iraq doesn't seem to have much to celebrate this year.

In the past month, Saddam has lost control of his country and been targeted by scores of missiles and bombs. If he survived, he has seen his military routed by coalition forces, and the Iraqi people cheer his downfall. U.S. troops have been relaxing in his palaces and looters have helped themselves to Saddam's prized personal possessions.

Saddam probably would have been wise to take astrologer Eugenia Last's advice for Tauruses this month: "Take a bit of time on the 20th, 21st and 22nd to go over your financial situation."

That advice presumably goes for celebrities such as actress Ann-Margret, Jay Leno and Penelope Cruz, who share Saddam's birthday.

But there are signs Saddam is still alive. His deputy prime minister, Tariq Aziz, has told U.S. officials that Saddam survived the two coalition airstrikes meant to kill him, USA Today reported today. However, defense officials cautioned that Aziz, who surrendered to coalition forces last week, has lied to interrogators about other matters.

In past years, Saddam's birthday has been an occasion for endless rounds of tributes, parades and new statues to honor the Iraqi ruler.

Last year, Saddam threw himself a countrywide party, complete with tens of thousands of Iraqis staging highly choreographed anti-American demonstrations. Saddam's son Qusai renamed Iraq's state-run Youth Television station "Birthday Television" for the occasion, and Saddam was given a giant pink birthday cake in his hometown of Tikrit, along with a golden statue of the 12th-century warrior prince Saladdin.

There was also a road race in his honor, dozens of new Saddam statues and the premiere of a new play based on a novel Saddam is believed to have written. The performance received rave reviews in the government-controlled press, which also featured scores of love letters to Saddam from Iraqis.

This year was supposed to be more of the same.

At a special Saddam birthday committee meeting last month, Iraqi official Izzat Ibrahim presented the plans: "I am delighted to meet you today … to review the appropriate arrangements to live up to what the noble birthday of our leader deserves," he said. The meeting was reported by the official Iraqi News Agency.

Instead, there were only a few makeshift birthday greetings for Saddam. In Tikrit, a small pro-Saddam demonstration made its way throught the streets today, and a single forlorn graffiti message read, "Yes, Happy Birthday Saddam, despite the circumstances."

Fears of a Birthday ‘Surprise’

Many Iraqis feared Saddam might try to stage some sort of birthday surprise today, seeking revenge against coalition forces and his former subjects. A revenge attack against his own people would not be out of character for a man who killed tens of thousands of them during his brutal 24-year rule.

"It's his birthday on April 28. Maybe he will appear. Maybe he will use chemical weapons," one Iraqi told Reuters last week.

Even after their deaths, the birthdays of other infamous world leaders like Hitler and Stalin have been occasions for their followers to lash out.

Not all Iraqis have turned their backs on Saddam. Some residents of Uja, where Saddam was born, said the leader had taken special care of them.

"He gave us a good life," said Yassin Badr, a businessman. "We will celebrate his birthday on April 28, just as we do every year."

Suggested Gifts: Coffins, Missiles, Board Games

ABCNEWS.com readers were less sympathetic in their birthday wishes for the deposed ruler, but many devised creative "gifts" that would be appropriate. Suggestions received via e-mail ranged from "a really nice casket" to "66 missiles on his birthday cake" to "Geraldo Rivera." But most simply wished for Saddam to breathe his last.

Texan Ana Prats recommended giving Saddam a "steel cap with a permanent white flag attached" to help him surrender to coalition forces.

"It's difficult to think of giving someone like Saddam Hussein any kind of 'gift' after everything he has put the Iraqi people through," said Mary Miller of Keller, Texas. In a pinch, she suggests a portrait of President Bush.

Given Saddam's quick military defeat, maybe the board game Risk would be appropriate, said Diane Cobb of Hazleton, Pa. "Maybe he will do better than he did with his [real-life] forces."

Cecily Crain, in Shawnee Mission, Kan., jokingly offered to bake a cake for Saddam. She said she'd decorate it with a picture of the former Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al Sahaf, who became famous for his blustery assurances of Iraqi victory. The cake would have al Sahaf wishing Saddam "Happy 29th Birthday," Crain said.

Wishing for an Appropriate Punishment

Many wished they could honor Saddam's birth with creative punishments.

"I would wish that every night before he sleeps, he sees in his mind's eye the faces of all the people he tormented," wrote Christopher Gurin, in Plymouth Meeting, Pa.

Bethany Peralta in Cincinnati, Ohio, proposed a lottery for Saddam's victims.

"Those chosen in the lottery would have the opportunity to do to him what he did to them," she suggested.

"I'd send Saddam the head of his statue that was dragged through the streets of Baghdad," said Bruce Manning. He'd glue a shoe to the its forehead for good measure, he said.

"A U.S. flag with the autographs of all of his captured officials should do the trick," said Bernie Taft in Hudson, Mass.

Others thought it was time to find Saddam a new career.

"Give him a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart. That is about the only thing he will be able to do now," mused Bill Riggsbee.

New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams offered a few suggestions in her column, including shipping Saddam to the Big Apple.

"New York's not such a bad idea. We could stick him on garbage removal."

Some wished for Saddam's salvation, others for divine retribution.

Jennifer Dobbs Woods, in Erie, Pa., said she didn't feel it was her place to judge the former Iraqi ruler.

"I do, however, wish him one simple gift: the grace of God," she said.