6 Confessions of a Bad Wife

— -- (Editor's Note: This article first appeared on Babble.com. It has been reprinted here with permission. Disney is the parent company of both Babble and ABC News.)

It’s hard to believe that my husband and I have been together for over ten years — and married for almost seven. It seems like just yesterday I made the bold move of smiling at him in the hallway of our high school — he looking nervously all around him in response, so shy he couldn’t fathom I would be directing my glances at him.

Fast forward 11 years, four kids, and many, many unwanted pounds later, I have to admit that the bold girl in the hallway has become somewhat of a work-in-progress wife. I’m, as my husband likes to call me, a bit defiant against the somewhat traditional role I find myself in as a stay-at-home/work-at-home mother and I find that my defiant nature does tend to bubble over the surface into our marriage.

A perfect wife I am not and in fact, if I’m being honest, based on some of the following evidence, some may even call me a bad wife.

1. I’ve never once ironed my husband’s clothes. Ever.

And I do mean ever.

In almost seven years of marriage, my husband has ironed his own work clothes every morning with nary a complaint. And I’m not saying that I think he’s incapable of doing so, but it definitely doesn’t seem to jive with the Mrs. Cleaver image of marriage now does it? Maybe it would help if I actually owned some pearls …

2. I leave the cleaning supplies out so he can see them.

When I do the weekly deep-cleaning of the bathrooms around these parts, I often “accidentally” leave a cleaner or two out on the counter — in plain sight — just in case he happens to miss the sparkling-clean floors or the now softly-scented toilet bowl. Maybe he would notice my efforts if I didn’t leave the floor cleaner oh-so-strategically placed, maybe he wouldn’t, but either way, apparently I have a need for recognition. We all have something.

3. I buy him healthy snacks -- and hide the good stuff for myself.

I’m a complicated creature. I fight a never-ending struggle with myself to convince myself that I do, in fact, enjoy lunches that consist solely of cruciferous vegetables and lots of protein. But I still long for the cheesy, the fatty, and the sugary. So more often than not, my husband gets the healthy foods packed in his lunch — and I eat the delicious stuff. I’m looking out for his health, OK?

4. I buy him stuff I want for presents.

While we’re on the topic of selfish purchases, I may as well throw this one in. I love shopping, and buying presents is a favored love language of mine, so I often find excuses to buy my husband presents -- but they’re not always totally selfless. Case in point, the copy of Jim Gaffigan’s Dad is Fat that I bought him for Father’s Day and promptly whisked away to read (hilarious) or the new Apple TV I bought “for him” just so I could have Disney Junior for the kids to survive my last months of pregnancy. Happy wife = happy life.

5. I definitely begrudge his boys’ nights.

It’s not that I necessarily do it on purpose, but in the spirit of confessing my failures as a wife I will say that it’s true — I’m jealous of his nights out. I fully recognize that he needs them, deserves them, and that we’re all better off for him taking them once in a blue moon, but gosh darn it if it’s not hard for me to accept them. I’m in the stage of life right now when I literally can’t escape for more than a few hours (I’m breastfeeding a baby who doesn’t take a bottle), so even finding time for me to work or take a shower feels like a battle, let alone a night out. And don’t even get me started on the drinking portion of the evening … sigh.

6. I get upset over things I can’t change.Even after all of these years together, my husband and I have the same arguments over and over again, usually in response to me getting upset over something that I know better than to pick a fight over. Like, say, for example: I’ll bemoan the fact that date nights won’t happen unless I plan them. Or, I’ll criticize him for loading the dishwasher wrong. The fact of the matter is, there are certain parts about people’s personalities that just won’t change, and there comes a point in every marriage when you accept it and move on — or, on some days, you have a totally useless fight over it. But then again, a little spice never hurt a marriage either.

Bad wife, indeed.