Wedding Planning 101: ‘Bachelorette’ Desiree Hartsock Siegfried Shares Money-Saving Tips
She also shared an excerpt from her book, “My Fairytale Wedding.”
— -- Desiree Hartsock Siegfried handed out her final rose to Chris Siegfried in season 9 of “The Bachelorette,” and now the two are expecting their first little rosebud together in October.
“Yes, 5-months pregnant!” the proud mom-to-be said on “Good Morning America” today.
She and husband Chris had a “very special” ceremony in January 2015, which she said was “everything Chris and I wanted” in an “intimate setting in California.”
Now Siegfried has a new book out called “My Fairytale Wedding: Planning Your Dream Wedding Without Breaking the Bank,” in which she reveals what she learned from planning her own big day.
Scroll down to read an excerpt from Siegfried’s book.
There were several brides-to-be in the “GMA” audience, they had wedding planning questions for Siegfried.
One woman asked how early her save-the-dates should be sent. Siegfried said they should be sent out 4 to 6 months before the event –- or 6 to 8 months ahead of time if it’s a destination wedding.
Another woman asked Siegfried about how she could compromise with her fiancé on budget costs, saying she and her fiancé were hoping to invite about 150 people.Siegfried cautioned the woman not to get caught up in the smaller details, advising her to do some research about costs, make a budget and prioritize accordingly.
Budget
People don’t realize that the venue and catering will eat up about 45 percent of a budget, so those decisions need to be made before one about party favors, Siegfried added.
Color
As for how to decide on a color theme for the wedding, décor and invitations, Siegfried said couples need just three colors – a base, a complement and an accent.
Flowers
Siegfried advised that people choose flowers that are in season. Couples can save on these because they can be sourced locally, she said.
Photos and Invitations
Engagement photos express who you are as a couple, so pick one that has special meaning, Siegfried said. She also said couples can save money by using the same photographer for engagement and wedding photos, as most will offer package deals.
Siegfried reminded people to be sure to budget for postage and the kind of printing they want for their save-the-dates and invitations (cardstock, calligraphy, etc.).
In addition to her on-air tips, Siegfried also provided the following excerpt from her book, “My Fairytale Wedding.”
BOOK EXCERPT
Disagreements and their Demise
I’m here to be honest and help you through all of the ups and downs wedding planning can consist of. Included in that are the disagreements bound to happen between you and your lovely new fiancé. Whether you’re the quiet and passive kind or the blunt and assertive one in the relationship, nothing can prepare you for every single decision you will have to agree on… together.
I think it’s wonderful if you and your fiancé agree on everything. This advice may not be helpful for you then. BUT, if you’re anything like Chris and I, then you’re both independent individuals with strong opinions on what you want and how to make it happen. I say this in the most loving way because it’s the truth and something we had to work through while wedding planning. You can’t have too many cooks in the kitchen or a fire will start.
As a couple, you have to communicate to understand each other, even if that means talking through the color of the cake for an hour or where Grandma will sit at the ceremony. There will never be another time in your life where you will have to make over a dozen decisions together in the matter of eight months or so. Since we did plan ours in only four months, that may have added to the quick decisions and communicating our wants, needs and opinions to each other more frequently. No matter the time frame, these four steps will help ease any frustration you may run into with disagreements on details or budget.
1. Divide the workload: If you’re a bride that wants to do it all then by all means go for it, but if you want him to be a part of the planning then give him a task that will help him feel involved. Even if it’s as small as picking ties for the groomsmen or setting up the honeymoon. For example, I like the design details of wedding planning, which Chris let me handle, while he handled the transportation, logistics and numbers. He wanted to be involved and this helped him take the lead in something while letting me handle the other items I enjoyed. It will allow you to get things done efficiently and stress free.
2. LISTEN to one another: There may be a lot of ideas floating around and it’s ok if those ideas change in the beginning. Talk through exactly what you would like to accomplish for the wedding. Take turns expressing how you both envision the day going down and what is needed to make that happen. If one is very passionate about a person to invite or a color to add, then listen to why it means something to them. I think dismissing opinions can be the worst thing to do while wedding planning (and in general). Listen to the ideas, take them in stride, then decide what is best for your special day.
3. Time block: In general, I think blocking out a certain time for the both of you to talk about the wedding is helpful in planning things quickly and calmly. This allows you to discuss numbers, budget, details, etc. without daily stresses getting in the way. This would mean holding off on asking questions the moment he/she walks through the door, before bed, or while watching TV. Too many distractions while making decisions leads itself to frustration.
4. Take a break from planning: One of the healthiest things you can do as a newly engaged couple is to take a break once in a while from wedding planning. Not only a physical break from calling vendors, viewing locations and deciding on cake flavors, but also a break from talking about the wedding. Take time out for your relationship so you can enjoy the ‘WHY’ you are getting married, not just the ‘HOW’. This makes planning even more enjoyable.
The engagement is a stepping-stone into marriage so it’s important to start it off on the right foot.
Now on to the crème de le crème of decisions…
No Guessing the Guest List
When it comes to weddings, family and friends start coming out of the woodwork. College roommates share their congrats, old football buddies want to grab drinks with your groom, long lost relatives start coming around and your entire high school now knows you’re getting married from your status update on Facebook. Whatever the case may be, only invite the people you WANT to share your special day with. No more, no less. When it is all said and done, those who weren’t invited will understand.
Creating the guest list with your partner can be a challenging task. Take my word for it. Chris wanted to invite every guy he ever played baseball with along with ‘friends’ he hadn’t talked to in years. I had to remind him to decide between everyone he wanted to invite and those that should be invited. We had a limited capacity that could fit in our ceremony location, hence why the size of venue matters when making a guest list. The size of the guest list also plays an important role in the cost of the wedding. Keep this in mind while jotting down names. Most venues or caterers will charge per person for food so make sure you like the guests enough to want to pay for a full dinner for them. Seriously, if you wouldn’t feel comfortable footing the bill for them, then rethink the invite. The average cost of a wedding in 2014 was $31,213 with an average $68 per person cost for catering. That’s a $136 meal for every couple that you invite. Of course there are ways to minimize costs, which I will get to later, but it's something to be aware of while creating the guest list.
One of the first decisions you will have to make is which friends and family members you would like to have in the bridal party. Who is your best friend? Who should be the Maid-of-Honor/Best Man? Who has been there for you? Should your siblings be in the bridal party?
Deciding on the bridal party can be really easy or extremely difficult. There are no rules to how many you can have on each side. In fact, it doesn’t need to be an even number either. A groomsman can walk down with two bridesmaids or vice versa. Don’t feel limited by how many should be on each side and instead include however many you prefer. Here are some tips to breakdown the guest list.
If you haven’t talked to the person in over 2 years, count them out.
If the guest is not in a serious relationship, don’t include a plus one.
If your parents want to invite friends, set up parameters in the beginning so that you don’t end up exceeding your budget. Give them a certain number they can’t go over.
If they are friends you don’t think you’ll hang out with in the next year, rethink the invite.
Co-workers: If you don’t hang out with them outside of work, count them out. It can make other co-workers feel left out if not everyone is invited and cause a problem in the workplace.
If the person is a friend of a friend that you only see occasionally, count them out.
Who to include:
Immediate Family
Parents
Grandparents
Siblings
Bridal Party
Maid-of-Honor (not married) / Matron-of-Honor (married)
Bridesmaids
Best Man
Groomsmen
Flower Girls
Ring Bearers
Other Family Members
Circle of Friends: Those you hang out with at least 1-4 times a month. If they are long distance, you stay connected monthly.
School Friends: Those high school or college friends that you have a history with AND still keep in touch with monthly.
Couple Friends: The double-date type friends from the neighborhood, church, sports, etc. that will cater to your relationship as husband and wife.
If you don’t keep in touch with someone on a monthly basis then rethink the invite. Of course this is just a guide if you are trying to limit the number of guests for cost or venue purposes. Again, there are no rules to inviting guests but hope that these tips will help you decide more efficiently.
Once you have the guest list down, or at least the number of people you would like to invite to your wedding, then you are one step closer to the fun zone of planning the details. In the fun zone (and for every detail of the wedding), you will need to keep the wedding budget in mind.