Parents Need to Provide Most Oversight in Their Homes
Dec. 11, 2006 — -- In a decision that sounds as if it were designed to please everyone -- and therefore will please no one -- the House ethics committee has concluded that Republican congressional leaders were negligent when it came to protecting male pages from Mark Foley's nauseating advances, but that they broke no rules.
Yet as the debate shifts to who's to blame and why, we risk losing sight of a larger point: In an Internet age, the need for oversight is more important than ever.
No, I'm not talking (necessarily) about Congress -- I'm speaking as a parent who knows that today's unprecedented connectivity offers a mix of pluses and minuses.
Simply put, we parents must provide more oversight in our own homes.
Consider some of the language used in the House committee's report.
Top GOP leaders, we're told, "failed to exercise appropriate diligence" in the Foley affair. They tried "to remain willfully ignorant of the potential consequences."
As parents, we're duty-bound, I believe, to "exercise appropriate diligence" over our children's comings and goings, over their friendships, activities and acquaintances. But, in all honesty, how well do we carry out this duty?
Do we keep a close and loving eye on where they are and who they're with? Are we aware of what Web sites they visit and whom they chat with? Or do we just hope for the best and remain "willfully ignorant of the potential consequences?"
One potential consequence: They could wind up receiving some pretty creepy come-ons from a supposedly responsible adult (even a U.S. congressman). What would their response be to such a pervert? Will they turn away in disgust, even if they think it could hurt their career aspirations? Or will they acquiesce, feeling that they simply can't challenge someone in a position of power and responsibility?
What they do depends in large measure on what you do today. What are the ground rules? Do you enforce them -- and explain why?
Rebecca Hagelin is the author of "Home Invasion: Protecting Your Family in a Culture That's Gone Stark Raving Mad" and a vice president of The Heritage Foundation. She is also the mother of three teenagers.
One of the former pages in the Foley matter had this reaction to the report: "My fear is that by not holding anyone accountable, it sets a precedent that political fallout is more important than young people's safety."
But blame games aren't confined to Washington.
Too often, parents worry about the "fallout" they think will occur within the family if they insist on rules designed to protect "young people's safety."
It's been said, though, that parenthood isn't a popularity contest and it's true. You're there to nurture and protect, not to score points in a poll. You weren't elected; you were selected.
The best medicine rarely tastes or feels good. And remember: Bruised feelings that result from an unpopular rule will heal. Scars that develop because of parental neglect last a lifetime.
Fortunately, there are ways all of us can help win this battle. The first thing is to arm yourself with good information about social-science trends -- information you can find at sites like familyfacts.org.
You also should get a reliable Web filter for your home computers, and make sure all computers used by your children are located in common areas.
Consider taking a training course in Web safety from "Enough Is Enough!" or WebWiseKids.
Set the rules and back them up. Your children will thank you for it -- not today, perhaps, but someday.
Rebecca Hagelin is the author of "Home Invasion: Protecting Your Family in a Culture That's Gone Stark Raving Mad" and a vice president of The Heritage Foundation. She is also the mother of three teenagers.