Between India and Indiana, Finding Love

July 12, 2004 -- Rupa Goswami's parents are from India, where to be 36 and single isn't something to be proud of. But by urban American standards, Rupa is no spinster. Raised in the United States, she is dedicated to her impressive career.

"I got my dream job, which was to be a U.S. attorney in Los Angeles," she told ABC News. "So I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of doing this job."

An arranged marriage was out of the question, but that didn't stop Rupa's mother Shila from worrying.

Rupa remembers how her mother once went through all the clothes in her closet, and afterwards proclaimed: "Oh, there's nothing sexy in here. We need to buy you some sexy clothes."

"She'd give me dating advice, which I thought was really hilarious because my mother had an arranged marriage, and of course has never been on a single date in her entire life," Rupa said. "Her biggest advice was 'Don't sound smart.' "

Shila says she put her faith in the gods, visiting many temples. "There is no god left at Indian temples that I didn't go," she said. "Everywhere I went, and I said this is the last prayer I'm doing. Please give me that."

Then, as if right out of a Bollywood movie, her prayers were answered. Rupa met Tim Searight, a fellow U.S. attorney in her Los Angeles office.

But had the gods misunderstood? Tim was fair-haired, blue-eyed and not from India, but Indiana.

Searight said, "We were literally and truly born on the opposite sides of the world. If you were to look at the map, you would see they're directly on the opposite sides of the world."

Come Together

At first, Rupa wasn't interested in him "at all," and she was very concerned about having an office romance.

They were also of two different religions. Tim was baptized in the Presbyterian church. "My parents then took me to the Methodist church in Indiana," he said. "And then I started attending an Episcopalian church."

Rupa's family is Hindu and her father was a professor of eastern religions and a Brahmin priest. Rupa's two siblings had married Hindus.

But Rupa and Tim started to fall in love. He took her to Paris. "I just felt really comfortable. It was very smooth and very easy and I thought very comfortable. Then I thought, 'Well, this might work,' " she said.

They co-starred in their very own home-made Bollywood musical. Tim fully embraced the Indian culture of Rupa — and especially her parents.

"Tim so easily became part of us. So easily," said Shila. "Many Indian boys would not, they'll be stiff. Tim wasn't like that. Tim came in a very spontaneous way."

When Rupa told her father Tim was Christian, he asked: "How Christian is he?"

There was Rupa's advancing age to consider. "In my family it's all good," she said. "He's male, he's breathing, you know, no felony conviction."

"There isn't any difference between an American and Indian if the soul is right," Shila said. "Rupa has found someone who is a genuine match for her, and I feel happy."

Rupa's father pointed out that as Hindus, they believe in rebirth. Perhaps Tim was Hindu in a previous life, he suggested.

And as for Tim's parents, Hoosiers of Scottish extraction: after his dad heard about Rupa, he went out and bought a Religion for Dummies book to learn more about Hinduism, Tim said.

Two Ceremonies, Led by an Elephant

Tim and Rupa's wedding ceremony was equal parts India and Indiana.

"I really think a marriage should be two people coming together and not one culture, one language or one religion sort of taking center stage," Rupa said.

Western weddings are white, light and delicate. Indian weddings are bold and bursting with color. So the couple decided to have two weddings, with two dresses and two ceremonies.

But before it all began, Tim had prepared a symbolic entrance: He rode in on an elephant, led by drum-banging Bhangra dancers. It was all his idea, Rupa said. "I think the idea was to have something be very grand."

It also pleased Rupa's mother. "She said 'Oh yes, you know, I think in ancient times princes would come in on an elephant and Tim, of course, is such a prince," Rupa said. "She was totally thrilled that we were doing the elephant."

But Tim's family was also represented: On the saddle blanket was the Searight Scottish family seal. And bagpipes took over from the Bhangra music as his family arrived.

The groom's elephant-borne arrival was fitting. In India, the elephant god Ganesh is known for removing all obstacles.

Life's Surprises

The longer Hindu ceremony took place first, on the rooftop of an art museum — transformed into a little slice of India with multitudes of marigolds and a sacred fire. Then the western ceremony took place in the gallery next door.

There was much that was similar between the two ceremonies: Indian vows, Christian vows; an exchange of rings in the Western ceremony, an exchange of garlands in the Hindu one; a tying of hands for the Hindu ceremony, the lighting of the unity candle in the Christian one.

In the Western ceremony, the audience got cake. In the Hindu ceremony, they got sweets. In the Hindu ceremony, they walked around sacred fire. In the Western ceremony, they walked down the aisle.

"For all I know I'm Hindu, he's Christian, you know, our kids might decide to be Muslims," Rupa said. "Our big joke has been that we're going to raise them Jewish and teach them Mandarin."

Shila was happy. "I'm relieved not because she got married but because she got married to the right person," she said. "The Hoosiers and Hindus, we mingle quite well."

Rupa said, "It wasn't exactly what I planned, but Tim wasn't what I planned either. But life is full of surprises and you get more than you ever expected."