Romanian Orphans Thriving 15 Years Later

Dec. 22, 2005 — -- More than 15 years ago, Toby McCarroll, the leader of a Catholic lay community in Northern California, traveled to Romania and discovered hundreds of HIV-infected babies left in orphanages.

By 1990, the situation in Romania had grown dire, and McCarroll made a direct plea for help on "Primetime Live."

Susan Belfiore was watching that broadcast in her New Jersey home.

"It was the right time in our life," Susan remembered. "They were asking for someone … to come and to be with these children. Not just to send my money, although we were willing to do that, but I felt like he was speaking directly to me."

Susan traveled to Romania, initially planning only to help care for sick children. But eventually, she and her husband, Bill Belfiore, became adoptive parents to four HIV-positive children: Ramona, Ionel, Lora-Dana and Mihaela.

The children were physically frail and emotionally scarred from their time in the orphanage, and they weren't expected to live into their teens. But now this extraordinary family is enjoying the ordinary days and teenage milestones that most people never expected these children to see.

Fragile Grip on Life

All four of the children were infected with HIV at birth, through either blood transfusions or unclean needles, not through their birth mothers. But their parents lacked the means to care for them, so the children became wards of Romania's notoriously neglectful state system.

Susan remembers the tentative first steps of getting to know the children.

"Mihaela, when I first got her, every morning she would push open the curtain and look at me," she said. "She wouldn't let me hug her. She had been too long in the institution … by herself. So I would go up to her and she would put her finger up to my finger like this and that was the connection. And just by doing that finger to finger, she would get so deep in my heart."

Lora-Dana's grip on life was even more fragile than Mihaela's. At 2½ years old, she weighed only 8 pounds -- she didn't walk, didn't roll over and couldn't sit up by herself.

But slowly, under Susan's care, the children's health began to improve. Bill Belfiore visited Romania as well, and the couple decided there was no way they could adopt only one child.

"We fell in love with them first and then weighed the consequences last," said Bill.

Finally, after years of fighting bureaucratic hurdles, Susan left Bucharest on July 28, 1992, with four children in tow. The children could hardly believe it when they saw their new home.

"The were just out of their minds, and then finding their beds. Because in Romania, we were all in the same room, and they have beautiful beds here," Susan said.

A Happy Surprise

Settling into their new American lives, the family could almost forget that the children carried the HIV virus -- but not quite.

"Every three months, they have blood work done. At the same time, we'll go to the clinic. We'll go to the general practitioner. We'll see the nutritionist," Susan said.

The Belfiores settled into life as a family, with summer vacations, birthdays and small talk about their days -- and then a big surprise came.

After years of fertility treatments and then adopting the four children, Susan became pregnant at age 45. In December 1995, she delivered an 8 pound, 11 ounce baby boy they named Aidan. He was a welcome addition to the family.

"I was surprised with the children," Susan said. "Each one feels like he is their baby."

But it was also bittersweet -- knowing that the other four children live constantly with the unknown.

"When I'm holding him [Aidan], there's a real joy and there's a real sadness at the same time," Bill said. "It makes me aware of how fragile the other children's health is."

The Hardest Part

The Belfiores knew that when they adopted the four children, they were taking a risk and inviting the possibility of great sadness into their lives.

Dr. Patricia Whitley-Williams, a professor and chief of infectious disease at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in New Jersey, has been treating the Belfiore children for the past six years. She was initially most concerned about the health of Mihaela and Lora-Dana.

"They were the ones who were having frequent infections, especially of their ears as well as sinuses. They had a lot of respiratory problems," said Whitley-Williams. "So I was really concerned and hoping that they didn't develop severe pneumonias or a resistant infection that would be very difficult to treat."

In addition, the growth hormones: Lora-Dana and Mihaela have been on a blend of powerful medications designed to control the virus. And treatments for HIV have advanced greatly since the children first contracted the virus -- but maintaining the right balance of nutrition, vitamins and medication is a never-ending struggle.

But the hardest time, the family agrees, is dealing with rumors, misinformation and other people's ignorance.

"The birthday parties and being disinvited. People telling you that they don't, they really don't like their children to become friends with ... our children," said Bill.

Ramona remembered being in seventh grade and a classmate touching her pen, and then saying, "Oh my God, I just touched your pen. I'm going to get it."

When Ionel was almost 10 he had an even more disturbing incident with a classmate. "He just kind of said to me, 'Oh, you have HIV? When you turn 10, you're gonna die from it.'… I got really scared," said Ionel, now 16.

But the Belfiores dealt with it together. "And then we called a family meeting up in Ionel's bedroom. We all sat on the floor and spoke about this information, if it was true and were kids dying," Susan said. "This was the first time that they put HIV together with the fact that people were dying from it."

'Miracles Can Keep Happening'

Now 15 years after being adopted, 18-year-old Ramona, the oldest Belfiore child, is blazing trails for her brothers and sisters -- getting her driver's license and going on dates.

For Ramona, Ionel, Mihaela and Lora-Dana, dating and having relationships while living with HIV require more responsibility than most young people have to shoulder.

"We all have, like, the same issues, so we're able to communicate about it, and we're not, like, scared to ask the other one about it," Ramona said. "Even with Aidan, it's easy, because he seems to understand it too. He's been here, and he understands what we're going through."

One of the hallmarks of the Belfiore family is that they see the treasure buried in the burden. As Aidan explained: "If these guys didn't have HIV, they probably wouldn't be here. And if they…wouldn't be here, this wouldn't be happening. …And I'd probably be an only child in a very big house."

Back in Romania, the orphanage where the children first stayed is still open, the staff and conditions there slowly improving. Most of the Belfiore children remain in contact with their biological parents, and someday the whole family plans to make a return visit.

Meanwhile, their unique experience is sending them down some remarkable roads. In January Lora-Dana and Susan will take part in an AIDS walk in Africa, and Ionel recently spoke at World AIDS Day.

"Our family believes in miracles, and I think that there is one happening here," Susan said. "A miracle is something that your heart always knew was true. I don't know what else I can say but … miracles can keep happening."