Picking Star Wars character All-Star teams for baseball, basketball, cricket, hockey, football and soccer
— -- Steph or LeBron? Brady or Rodgers? Messi or Ronaldo? Picking an All-Star lineup full of earthlings is child's play. But choosing from the likes of Luke, Leia and Darth Vader -- along with mysterious newcomers from "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" such as Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma -- to create the ultimate Star Wars teams for soccer, basketball, football, hockey, cricket and baseball takes skills that are out of this galaxy. With the Force as our ally, we tackled the challenge.
Picking a best Starting XI is a time-honored tradition. In weighing the light and dark sides from all the films, we found a proper balance of the Force in a 4-2-3-1 system that abides by key Star Wars rules such as not having more than two Sith on the same side.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Grand Moff Tarkin: Manager
Home Planet: Eriadu
Chewbacca: Goalkeeper
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Aerial Dominance
Darth Vader: Center Back
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: The Reducer
Kylo Ren: Center Back
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Force Push Block
Boba Fett: Left Back
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Jet-Fueled Raids Down The Flank
Poe Dameron: Right Back
Home Planet: Yavin IV (rumored)
Best Skill: Pinpoint Crosses
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Defensive Midfielder
Home Planet: Stewjon
Best Skill: Arguing With Refs
Captain Phasma: Defensive Midfielder
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Late Tackling
Luke Skywalker: Attacking Midfielder, Central
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Killer Assists
Princess Leia Organa: Attacking Midfielder, Left
Home Planet: Alderaan
Best Skill: Bending It Like Beckham
Han Solo: Attacking Midfielder, Right
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Shots From Distance
Yoda: Striker
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah
Best Skill: Swirling Bicycle Kick
As the Warriors run through the NBA like a basketball Death Star, we turn to a galaxy far, far away in hopes (a new hope, some might say) of finding the only lineup capable of beating them. And though it seems at times like Stephen Curry is using the Force to guide his shot into the basket, we're confident our ragtag bunch of scruffy-looking nerf herders is up to the challenge of restoring balance to the league.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Coach
Home Planet: Stewjon There's nothing more valued in coaching than experience, and Obi-Wan has more than anyone. Plus he's got the Phil Jackson-esque beard -- and you know with those robes he's super Zen.
Luke Skywalker: Point Guard
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: One-Handed Jam
Kylo Ren: Shooting Guard
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Killer Crossover
Lando Calrissian: Small Forward
Home Planet: Socorro
Best Skill: Smooth Transition Game
Han Solo: Power Forward
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Shooting First
Chewbacca: Center
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Rip-Through
Yoda: Sixth Man
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah
Best Skill: Aerial Acrobatics
This lineup is built on lightsabermetrics, using empirical data to outslug the evil empire. It features a Sith lord with a sweet stroke, a Wookiee with an impressive WAR and a droid who can draw walks. And these Jedis aren't afraid to embrace the dark side, making squeeze plays and painting the black. May the forceout be with you.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Manager
Home Planet: Stewjon Wise and mysterious, Obi-Wan is a guiding force in the clubhouse who can deftly handle a pitching staff of Jedi Knights. Much like Billy Martin's relationship with Reggie Jackson, though, he doesn't get along very well with his right fielder.
R2-D2: Catcher
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Calling Pitches
Chewbacca: First Base
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Power
Yoda: Second Base
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah
Best Skill: Drawing Walks
Luke Skywalker: Third Base
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Defense
Princess Leia Organa: Shortstop
Home Planet: Alderaan
Best Skill: Dealing With Teammates
Boba Fett: Left Field
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Rocket Launcher Of An Arm
Han Solo: Center Field
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Veteran Presence
Darth Vader: Right Field
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Desire To Win
Jar Jar Binks: Designated Hitter
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Distracting The Opposing Team
Lando Calrissian: Pitcher
Home Planet: Socorro
Best Skill: Veteran Who Has Seen It All
In hockey circles, a blend of toughness, skill and unforgiving defense wins championships. With that in mind, owner Emperor Palpatine has bankrolled general manager Yoda and coach Obi-Wan Kenobi's collection of the slickest badass players this side of the galaxy. If you thought the Charlestown Chiefs and Syracuse Bulldogs gooned it up, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Coach
Home Planet: Stewjon Coach Kenobi is highly skilled at moving his players around like chess pieces in order to match up against the opposition's toughest players. His thoughtful and calm demeanor belies the rough and savage experience he has gained in the game. His players respect his courage and the depth of his knowledge and would go to the wall for him.
Darth Vader: Goaltender
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Heightened Visual Awareness
Captain Phasma: Defenseman
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Clearing The Slot
Boba Fett: Defenseman
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Stealing The Puck
Chewbacca: Left Wing
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Clutching And Grabbing
Han Solo: Center
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Quickness On The Draw
Kylo Ren: Right Wing
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Crashing The Crease
Lightsabers are threatening but hardly handy at the wicket. Skill with the bat and precision with the ball are all that count. Captained by the noble Qui-Gon Jinn, this team boasts a fine mix of technical skills, brute force, agile Force-fielding and, through Han Solo, even top-class sledging. An explosive batting lineup is complemented by a just-as-fearsome bowling attack. Bring it on, you must.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Chewbacca: Opener/First Slip
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Wookiee-Cut
Han Solo: Opener/Short Leg
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Drop Anchor/Venomous Tongue
Jabba The Hutt: No. 3/Wicketkeeper
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Track Flattener
Luke Skywalker: No. 4/Deep Fielder Or Slips
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: The Hook
Yoda: No. 5/Square Leg
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah
Best Skill: Flight And Levitation
Qui-Gon Jinn: No. 6/Cover
Home Planet: Coruscant
Best Skill: A Very Particular Set Of Skills
Darth Maul: No. 7/Opening Bowler
Home Planet: Dathomir
Best Skill: Dual-Bladed Swing
Obi-Wan Kenobi: No. 8/Point
Home Planet: Stewjon
Best Skill: Impenetrable Jedi Defense
Emperor Palpatine: No. 9/Third Man
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Extreme Powerplay
Lando Calrissian: No. 10/Long On
Home Planet: Socorro
Best Skill: Smooth Drives
Darth Vader: No. 11/Fine Leg
Home Planets: Tatooine
Best Skill: Toe Crushers
Our spread offense features a one-back system that favors distributing the ball to our "Force Factor" receiving corps. Strong and sound, our defense is, and it's built around clones. This team is made up of rebels, bounty hunters (we do need their scum), a few Sith for an added edge and a scruffy-looking nerf herder calling the signals.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Emperor Palpatine: Head Coach
Home Planet: Naboo A head coach has to be a CEO, politician, master motivator and, when necessary, be willing to light a fire under his players by shooting Dark Force lightning at them.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Offensive Coordinator
Home Planet: Stewjon "That wizard is just a crazy old man," Owen Lars, Luke Skywalker's uncle, once said of Obi-Wan Kenobi. But the Jedi Master's play-calling should not be questioned. With the Zen-like demeanor of Phil Jackson and the hoodie proficiency of Bill Belichick, Obi-Wan spends his offseasons breaking down hologram film and drawing up schemes. Implementing a meticulous blueprint developed during the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan refers to his spread offense as "an elegant weapon for a more civilized age."
Yoda: Defensive Coordinator
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah "A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense," the 900-year-old mastermind loves to say. His players are relentless, and his swamp and cave drills are legendary.
Han Solo: Quarterback
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Escapability
Princess Leia Organa: Running Back
Home Planet: Alderaan
Best Skill: Toughness
Darth Vader: Tight End
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Power Of The Dark Side
Darth Maul: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Dathomir
Best Skill: Strength In A Small Frame
Boba Fett: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Take-Off Speed
Luke Skywalker: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: One-Handed Grabs
Chewbacca: Left Tackle
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Tearing Off Arms
Jabba The Hutt: Left Guard
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Taking Up Space
R2-D2: Center
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Communications
Qui-Gon Jinn: Right Guard
Home Planet: Coruscant
Best Skill: Leadership
General Grievous: Right Tackle
Home Planet: Kalee
Best Skill: Jedi Training Without The Mental Hang-Ups
Clone Troopers: Defense
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Teamwork!
Luke Skywalker: Point Guard
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: One-Handed Jam
Kylo Ren: Shooting Guard
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Killer Crossover
Lando Calrissian: Small Forward
Home Planet: Socorro
Best Skill: Smooth Transition Game
Han Solo: Power Forward
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Shooting First
Chewbacca: Center
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Rip-Through
Yoda: Sixth Man
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah
Best Skill: Aerial Acrobatics
This lineup is built on lightsabermetrics, using empirical data to outslug the evil empire. It features a Sith lord with a sweet stroke, a Wookiee with an impressive WAR and a droid who can draw walks. And these Jedis aren't afraid to embrace the dark side, making squeeze plays and painting the black. May the forceout be with you.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Manager
Home Planet: Stewjon Wise and mysterious, Obi-Wan is a guiding force in the clubhouse who can deftly handle a pitching staff of Jedi Knights. Much like Billy Martin's relationship with Reggie Jackson, though, he doesn't get along very well with his right fielder.
R2-D2: Catcher
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Calling Pitches
Chewbacca: First Base
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Power
Yoda: Second Base
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah
Best Skill: Drawing Walks
Luke Skywalker: Third Base
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Defense
Princess Leia Organa: Shortstop
Home Planet: Alderaan
Best Skill: Dealing With Teammates
Boba Fett: Left Field
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Rocket Launcher Of An Arm
Han Solo: Center Field
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Veteran Presence
Darth Vader: Right Field
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Desire To Win
Jar Jar Binks: Designated Hitter
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Distracting The Opposing Team
Lando Calrissian: Pitcher
Home Planet: Socorro
Best Skill: Veteran Who Has Seen It All
In hockey circles, a blend of toughness, skill and unforgiving defense wins championships. With that in mind, owner Emperor Palpatine has bankrolled general manager Yoda and coach Obi-Wan Kenobi's collection of the slickest badass players this side of the galaxy. If you thought the Charlestown Chiefs and Syracuse Bulldogs gooned it up, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Coach
Home Planet: Stewjon Coach Kenobi is highly skilled at moving his players around like chess pieces in order to match up against the opposition's toughest players. His thoughtful and calm demeanor belies the rough and savage experience he has gained in the game. His players respect his courage and the depth of his knowledge and would go to the wall for him.
Darth Vader: Goaltender
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Heightened Visual Awareness
Captain Phasma: Defenseman
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Clearing The Slot
Boba Fett: Defenseman
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Stealing The Puck
Chewbacca: Left Wing
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Clutching And Grabbing
Han Solo: Center
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Quickness On The Draw
Kylo Ren: Right Wing
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Crashing The Crease
Lightsabers are threatening but hardly handy at the wicket. Skill with the bat and precision with the ball are all that count. Captained by the noble Qui-Gon Jinn, this team boasts a fine mix of technical skills, brute force, agile Force-fielding and, through Han Solo, even top-class sledging. An explosive batting lineup is complemented by a just-as-fearsome bowling attack. Bring it on, you must.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Chewbacca: Opener/First Slip
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Wookiee-Cut
Han Solo: Opener/Short Leg
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Drop Anchor/Venomous Tongue
Jabba The Hutt: No. 3/Wicketkeeper
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Track Flattener
Luke Skywalker: No. 4/Deep Fielder Or Slips
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: The Hook
Yoda: No. 5/Square Leg
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah
Best Skill: Flight And Levitation
Qui-Gon Jinn: No. 6/Cover
Home Planet: Coruscant
Best Skill: A Very Particular Set Of Skills
Darth Maul: No. 7/Opening Bowler
Home Planet: Dathomir
Best Skill: Dual-Bladed Swing
Obi-Wan Kenobi: No. 8/Point
Home Planet: Stewjon
Best Skill: Impenetrable Jedi Defense
Emperor Palpatine: No. 9/Third Man
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Extreme Powerplay
Lando Calrissian: No. 10/Long On
Home Planet: Socorro
Best Skill: Smooth Drives
Darth Vader: No. 11/Fine Leg
Home Planets: Tatooine
Best Skill: Toe Crushers
Our spread offense features a one-back system that favors distributing the ball to our "Force Factor" receiving corps. Strong and sound, our defense is, and it's built around clones. This team is made up of rebels, bounty hunters (we do need their scum), a few Sith for an added edge and a scruffy-looking nerf herder calling the signals.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Emperor Palpatine: Head Coach
Home Planet: Naboo A head coach has to be a CEO, politician, master motivator and, when necessary, be willing to light a fire under his players by shooting Dark Force lightning at them.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Offensive Coordinator
Home Planet: Stewjon "That wizard is just a crazy old man," Owen Lars, Luke Skywalker's uncle, once said of Obi-Wan Kenobi. But the Jedi Master's play-calling should not be questioned. With the Zen-like demeanor of Phil Jackson and the hoodie proficiency of Bill Belichick, Obi-Wan spends his offseasons breaking down hologram film and drawing up schemes. Implementing a meticulous blueprint developed during the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan refers to his spread offense as "an elegant weapon for a more civilized age."
Yoda: Defensive Coordinator
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah "A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense," the 900-year-old mastermind loves to say. His players are relentless, and his swamp and cave drills are legendary.
Han Solo: Quarterback
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Escapability
Princess Leia Organa: Running Back
Home Planet: Alderaan
Best Skill: Toughness
Darth Vader: Tight End
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Power Of The Dark Side
Darth Maul: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Dathomir
Best Skill: Strength In A Small Frame
Boba Fett: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Take-Off Speed
Luke Skywalker: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: One-Handed Grabs
Chewbacca: Left Tackle
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Tearing Off Arms
Jabba The Hutt: Left Guard
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Taking Up Space
R2-D2: Center
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Communications
Qui-Gon Jinn: Right Guard
Home Planet: Coruscant
Best Skill: Leadership
General Grievous: Right Tackle
Home Planet: Kalee
Best Skill: Jedi Training Without The Mental Hang-Ups
Clone Troopers: Defense
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Teamwork!
Darth Vader: Goaltender
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Heightened Visual Awareness
Captain Phasma: Defenseman
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Clearing The Slot
Boba Fett: Defenseman
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Stealing The Puck
Chewbacca: Left Wing
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Clutching And Grabbing
Han Solo: Center
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Quickness On The Draw
Kylo Ren: Right Wing
Home Planet: Unknown
Best Skill: Crashing The Crease
Lightsabers are threatening but hardly handy at the wicket. Skill with the bat and precision with the ball are all that count. Captained by the noble Qui-Gon Jinn, this team boasts a fine mix of technical skills, brute force, agile Force-fielding and, through Han Solo, even top-class sledging. An explosive batting lineup is complemented by a just-as-fearsome bowling attack. Bring it on, you must.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Chewbacca: Opener/First Slip
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Wookiee-Cut
Han Solo: Opener/Short Leg
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Drop Anchor/Venomous Tongue
Jabba The Hutt: No. 3/Wicketkeeper
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Track Flattener
Luke Skywalker: No. 4/Deep Fielder Or Slips
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: The Hook
Yoda: No. 5/Square Leg
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah
Best Skill: Flight And Levitation
Qui-Gon Jinn: No. 6/Cover
Home Planet: Coruscant
Best Skill: A Very Particular Set Of Skills
Darth Maul: No. 7/Opening Bowler
Home Planet: Dathomir
Best Skill: Dual-Bladed Swing
Obi-Wan Kenobi: No. 8/Point
Home Planet: Stewjon
Best Skill: Impenetrable Jedi Defense
Emperor Palpatine: No. 9/Third Man
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Extreme Powerplay
Lando Calrissian: No. 10/Long On
Home Planet: Socorro
Best Skill: Smooth Drives
Darth Vader: No. 11/Fine Leg
Home Planets: Tatooine
Best Skill: Toe Crushers
Our spread offense features a one-back system that favors distributing the ball to our "Force Factor" receiving corps. Strong and sound, our defense is, and it's built around clones. This team is made up of rebels, bounty hunters (we do need their scum), a few Sith for an added edge and a scruffy-looking nerf herder calling the signals.
THE LINEUP
SCOUTING REPORT
Emperor Palpatine: Head Coach
Home Planet: Naboo A head coach has to be a CEO, politician, master motivator and, when necessary, be willing to light a fire under his players by shooting Dark Force lightning at them.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Offensive Coordinator
Home Planet: Stewjon "That wizard is just a crazy old man," Owen Lars, Luke Skywalker's uncle, once said of Obi-Wan Kenobi. But the Jedi Master's play-calling should not be questioned. With the Zen-like demeanor of Phil Jackson and the hoodie proficiency of Bill Belichick, Obi-Wan spends his offseasons breaking down hologram film and drawing up schemes. Implementing a meticulous blueprint developed during the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan refers to his spread offense as "an elegant weapon for a more civilized age."
Yoda: Defensive Coordinator
Home Planets: Coruscant And Dagobah "A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense," the 900-year-old mastermind loves to say. His players are relentless, and his swamp and cave drills are legendary.
Han Solo: Quarterback
Home Planet: Corellia
Best Skill: Escapability
Princess Leia Organa: Running Back
Home Planet: Alderaan
Best Skill: Toughness
Darth Vader: Tight End
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Power Of The Dark Side
Darth Maul: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Dathomir
Best Skill: Strength In A Small Frame
Boba Fett: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Take-Off Speed
Luke Skywalker: Wide Receiver
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: One-Handed Grabs
Chewbacca: Left Tackle
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Tearing Off Arms
Jabba The Hutt: Left Guard
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Taking Up Space
R2-D2: Center
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Communications
Qui-Gon Jinn: Right Guard
Home Planet: Coruscant
Best Skill: Leadership
General Grievous: Right Tackle
Home Planet: Kalee
Best Skill: Jedi Training Without The Mental Hang-Ups
Clone Troopers: Defense
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Teamwork!
Best Skill: One-Handed Grabs
Chewbacca: Left Tackle
Home Planet: Kashyyyk
Best Skill: Tearing Off Arms
Jabba The Hutt: Left Guard
Home Planet: Tatooine
Best Skill: Taking Up Space
R2-D2: Center
Home Planet: Naboo
Best Skill: Communications
Qui-Gon Jinn: Right Guard
Home Planet: Coruscant
Best Skill: Leadership
General Grievous: Right Tackle
Home Planet: Kalee
Best Skill: Jedi Training Without The Mental Hang-Ups
Clone Troopers: Defense
Home Planet: Kamino
Best Skill: Teamwork!