Flashing a Lot of Skin, Ice Skating Now Resembles 'Mardi Gras' on Ice

Feb. 24, 2006 — -- Ice skaters on the Olympic ice in Turin flashed a lot of skin, gobs of Day-Glo, and headbands galore. Fashion this year didn't score gold in my book especially as the women and men tried to recreate "The Sopranos" rather than "Swan Lake."

The International Skating Union changed the judging to make it more uniform, but I think it overlooked the actual uniforms.

Apparently, modesty was cut from the ice-skating programs. Now, racy and, dare I say it, trashy is in.

The women Thursday night cooled it with the metal-band trasher style but bared as much as possible.

"I do find some of the costumes sometimes are over the top," figure skater Dick Button told The Associated Press. "You almost feel you've been trapped in a windmill in the Metropolitan Opera House costume department."

Button never strayed from the formal attire look when he won the 1948 and 1952 gold medals.

American Sweetheart: If you recall, Dorothy Hamill stole our hearts in the late '70s with her signature wedge-cut hairdo and feminine style. The Olympic winner never strayed from the "modest, dignified and appropriate" ISU regulations. That meant she wore leotards with a miniskirt and avoided plunging necklines, opting for long-sleeved numbers barely showing off her neck.

Classic Chic, Not Kitschy Shock: Brits Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean let their fancy footwork dazzle the judges instead of relying on theatrical and Vegas showgirl numbers. Dubbed the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers combo on ice, the pair won gold with classic, chic outfits.

Ole Katerina Witt: Things got a little racy when East German skater Katerina Witt caused a furor at the 1988 Calgary Games with her "Carmen" costume. It was deemed too sexy. The ISU cracked down with the unofficial "Katerina rule," requiring that women's outfits cover the "hips and the posterior."

Looking back at Witt's ruby-red outfit with the short skirt, she was dressed like a cardinal if you compare her to this year's batch of metal-band-inspired skaters. The "Katerina rule" was abandoned, but the ISU's rule book still insists that clothing "must be modest … not garish or theatrical in design." It goes on to say that "clothing may, however, reflect the character of the music chosen."

Not following the no prop, no accessories, no "excessive nudity" leads to a 1.0 point deduction.

This year, I think the judges were so scared of messing up the new point system that they didn't release their inner Simon Cowell to trash talk the Mardi Gras wannabes on ice.

All Skin, All the Time: Sure, sex sells and each pair has to differentiate itself from the next, especially in a sea of white, but come on, Russia's Tatiana Navka looked like she was at the wrong Olympics. She was decked out in a bikini top barely worthy of women's volleyball. Maybe her partner's tuxedo made up for her backless number because they took the gold home. I don't know how she's going to top this one off because there's very little material left.

Let's Get Physical: Speaking of skin, Italian ice dancer Barbara Fusar Poli also skimped on material and opted for a "Jane of the Jungle" look -- courtesy of that fantastic and very real-looking, skin-color Lycra. It's exactly what every girl dreams of when she's working out. I realize she came out of retirement to win the home crowd for the Olympics, but did she sweat that much to warrant the Olivia Newton-John headbands? Maybe her partner just pulled it over her eyes to avoid the lasting glare that she cast his way after he fell and dropped her during their short program, ending their hopes of a medal.

Carnival on Ice: Carnival, Halloween, Mardi Gras. … It's all a circus act. The French couple Isabelle Delobel and Olivier Schoenfelder used gloves doubling as masks as a diversion and plenty of garish colors to light up the rink. Day-Glo colors trumped all this year with fluorescent yellow, green, orange and pink outfits parading one after another.

See and Be Seen: Ukrainians Elena Grushina and Ruslan Goncharov toned it down color-wise, going with white, but dressed as comic-book heroes traveling to Ali Baba's cave. The Corsaire meets Wonder Woman, this is where the fashion police should have stepped in. I guess the Wonder Twin bracelets fought off the evil judges because they won the bronze. Maybe the panel was in a trance over the exposure of their chests, right down to the navel.

Flapper Girl: Ahh, the perennial fishnet. It's got that automatic sex appeal, which can always help in a sport as subjective as ice skating where technical and artistic scores count. The sinewy Elene Gedevanishvili from Georgia matched fishnet sleeves with a "Moulin Rouge" black-and-red number. This can-do girl in a cancan flapper skirt had all the right moves, but the wide-slit down her front spelled desperation not victory.

Panting for a Pantsuit?: Men have to wear trousers, but until last year women basically stuck to skirts. The technical skater Irina Slutskaya bedazzled the crowd in a black pantsuit. Some loved it while others felt it negated her femininity. Aside from the faux diamonds all over the shimmering outfit, I would say this Russian didn't fall flat on her face with an over-the-top number. In the long program, she wore a red-leotard number, which totally lacked style or grace. Sasha Cohen clinched the silver in a burgundy, velvet outfit that showed some skin but in good taste. About time.

Ruffled Feathers: American Johnny Weir danced his heart out, not shedding one feather or tear during his short program. Dressed in a black pantsuit with sheer, cutout feathers and a red glove on one hand, he had the crowd transfixed. I think the glove might have been his lucky charm because he wobbled during the long program and never made it to the medal podium. Afterward, Weir said, "I was black inside," despite wearing an eye-popping blue shimmering pantsuit. Stick to the basics, kid. You can't go wrong with black and white.

Four Seasons, Safari-Style: Flamboyancy came in all shapes and colors, but I have to mention some skaters' affinity for leopard print, tiger print, or, in the case of Stephane Lambiel, zebra print. The Swiss skater danced to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons," but instead of donning flowers or falling leaves, he adopted a safari-inspired vest paired with a blue-and-orange, flame-sleeve combo. Obviously, the judges disregarded the lack of winter or summer or fall in his outfit and awarded him points for the spring in his step. He took home a medal.

Express Yourself With a Uniform?

After all these fashion missteps, surely something has got to be done.

I encourage artists to express themselves, but bad outfits are a turnoff. Now that we know the judges like the bare-all policy, what's the future of these $3,000 faux-skin pole-dancer outfits?

I suggest team uniforms.

Gymnasts still capture our hearts and dazzle us in their leotards. Even the newcomers to the Winter Olympics, the "Peace Out!" snowboarders, adopted team uniforms.

Think about it. If the bad boys of the NBA can deal with standard-length shorts, surely the queens and kings of the ice can hack it.