FUNNIES: Foley's Seat 'Up For Grabs'

Oct. 8, 2006 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

The Late Show

David Letterman: How 'bout that Florida congressman, Mark Foley? Whoa. I got to tell you something: At least the Democrats, they wait till the interns are 18.

Late Night

Conan O'Brien: The White House claims that President Bush is getting so many requests to campaign with other Republicans that he's running out of time. Yeah. Yeah, not surprisingly, the requests are all coming from Democrats.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: I'm sure you know by now: After being caught sending explicit e-mails to underage boys, Florida congressman Mark Foley has resigned. So his seat is up for grabs -- which is what got him in trouble in the first place, actually.

Late Night

O'Brien: Earlier this week -- true story -- Bill O'Reilly did a piece about Mark Foley. This was the graphic. [graphic reads "Mark Foley (D-FL)"] Check it out. It said, "Foley, Democrat, Florida." The problem is, Mark Foley is not a Democrat. He's a Republican. … I assume it was a mistake. But I looked into it, and apparently this kind of mislabeling has happened on Fox News before. Take a look.

[video of Nixon resignation address with the graphic, "Richard Nixon (D), Wash D.C."]

President Nixon: I shall resign the presidency, effective at noon tomorrow.

[video of North Korean leader Kim Jong Il with the graphic "Kim Jong Il (D), North Korea"]

Voiceover: The regime of Kim Jong Il is a much more immediate danger.

[video of Michael Jackson with the graphic "Michael Jackson (D), California"]

Michael Jackson: I have been forced to submit to a dehumanizing and humiliating examination.

The Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert: Look at Bill Clinton. He refused to step down. Democrats rally around him and his ratings went through the roof. So Republicans, take a page from the Dems book. They're good at sex scandals. You guys don't know anything about sex. From what I understand, Republicans reproduce with a firm handshake. So just do what the Democrats do, Republicans, and rally around your sexual predator.

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: You get the idea. I could play more sound bites to fill in the picture, but uh, what's really going on in Washington? This perhaps will just--

[black and white video of Titanic sinking; man jumps off deck into the water]

Man: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…