How to Survive the Summer Airline Stampede

June 21, 2006 — -- There is still a diehard school of thought among U.S. airline executives past and present that any rise in the price of tickets will chase off a huge number of passengers, thus leaving too many seats empty and producing no revenue.

Well, that might have been the case in years past, but you certainly couldn't prove it now by the way the reservations are stacking up for air travel this summer. So far, even with fares up some 11 percent per seat mile and the number of available airline seats going down, more of us than ever are booking trips all over the map with the same type of blind customer demand that keeps Starbuck's expanding. (Must have latte, must have latte...)

That means two things: First, in the long term, normally timid airline execs will now be emboldened to keep raising fares that have been artificially low; and second, given the demand for seats and the number of travelers, getting through any major U.S. airport this summer without planning carefully for the experience, may be hellish -- sort of like running against a stampede.

I know that's the very type of cowboy-and-cattle analogy industry experts beg me to avoid. Airplanes, they say, are not cattle cars, and airline executives do not think of airline passengers as cattle.

Cash cows, perhaps, but not cattle.

Of course, far too many Southwest Airline employees in great humor have rolled their eyes when passengers line up at the three chutes provided for their no-seat-assignment flights and start mooing. Some even bring those little novelty boxes that make cow sounds when you turn them over.

Note to Southwest passengers: the joke is aging, and they've herd it before, pun intended.

But whether you're flying Southwest or catching Elbonia Air out of Kennedy in New York this summer, the challenges of getting through the average big American airport keep changing and need advance planning to save your sanity -- and temper.

Here's the problem in a nutshell: Overcrowding. There are too many of us wanting to move through airport security lines without delay and onto airplanes already averaging better than 85 percent full. The Transportation Safety Administration is struggling mightily to keep up, but whether they eventually succeed in their stated intention to have no passenger wait more than 10 minutes for screening, remains to be seen.

As numerous articles have pointed out in the last week, there are some airports -- Atlanta, Los Angeles, Fort Lauderdale, Las Vegas, Orlando, Miami and San Jose -- that are just going to continue to be screening bottlenecks, largely because of the way things are laid out physically. And while almost all of us are now acutely aware that arriving at the airport only an hour ahead of a flight is akin to a bad bluff at poker, you may not be aware of how many other airport traps you can avoid by religiously taking a few simple steps every time you fly.

Use the Internet

First, remember that the airlines really don't want to talk to you if they don't have to -- not because you're not fun to converse with, but because talking to anyone costs them personnel time, which translates to money, which they don't like to spend. Almost all airlines now have electronic ticketing, and the majority allow you to check in the night before by computer and print your own boarding pass.

Please do this. In the case of Southwest Airlines, of course, it's an even bigger deal, since checking in 24 hours ahead by computer may mean the difference between boarding while there are still plenty of overhead bins available -- The "A" list, in other words -- and being at the back of the cattle drive (Sorry. I'm from Texas. Such analogies come naturally.)

In the case of all other airlines, checking in by PC or Mac 24 hours ahead means giving yourself a special line at the counter to use for checking your bag -- thus bypassing those 300 passengers waiting like, uh, sheep in line. And -- if you're not checking anything -- it means you don't have to visit the ticket counter at all.

Trust me. Front ticket counter agents are nice people when they're at home or on the beach somewhere, but you don't want to meet them when they're behind their counter and the day has grown heavy with angry passengers.

Also, when you're working through the airline's Web site, look for special capabilities such as entering your pager or cell phone number so that a reservations agent -- or some artificial voice like HAL in "2001: A Space Odyssey" -- can reach you if there's a major change in schedule, or sometimes even gate changes -- best sent to the screen of PDAs and beepers.

Make a List

Yes, I'm a pilot, and we love checklists. But this makes sense. Make a checklist while at home of all the important numbers and contacts and basic factual information you may need on each end of your trip, first among them the confirmation code the airline gave you when you purchased the ticket.

While you may still be able to find your reservation in the electronic kiosks using just your name and a credit card, that confirmation code really is your ticket these days, and it's much smarter to have it instantly available.

List, as well, any options you may need to remember in case something goes haywire with your planned flight schedule -- also known as Plan B. Airline employees who fly on passes are expert at this because they can never be sure whether their first or second flight choices will have empty seats. Having a Plan B and Plan C -- and sometimes even a Plan Z -- can be a real stress saver.

In practical terms, that means if the weather is looking bad on your day of departure and you're leaving after noon or in the evening, consider what you'll do if, for some reason such as a canceled flight, you won't make it to your destination as scheduled. Who needs to be called, what problems will that create, and how can you comfortably plan for them? Having those answers ready lowers the stress level.

Forget the Old Days -- Arrive a Minimum of Two Hours Ahead

Even if the security lines are never a problem at your originating airport, other things can go wrong, and the greatest stress minimizer of all is to be fashionably early and have time for a latte or an overpriced airport snack before boarding time. When you're not yet in sight of the gate, real stress increases in direct inverse proportion to the number of minutes remaining before the flight departs, especially if you suddenly find yourself at the back of a long line anywhere in the process.

Weigh your Bags at Home

Don't guess. Use a bathroom scale or buy a hand scale at your luggage store. If the bag is more than 50 pounds, it will snag a $25 to $50 surcharge with no sympathy from the agent. One trick, however, if you haven't weighed them and think you might be close to the limit, is to head for curbside check-in. The skycap may or may not be a weight-limit Nazi. Don't forget -- you can never curbside check international baggage.

Just Assume Your Bags Will End Up in Zanzibar

That means pack all vital medicines, cosmetics, toiletries and an emergency change of clothes in your carry-on gear. Make sure a lost bag won't destroy your vacation/business trip/new job interview/fill-in-the-blank, and remember, if you leave yourself exposed, Murphy's Law will guarantee your bag won't make it.

I'm still laughing at a friend of mine who flew in for a job interview as an airline pilot only to have the airline he was interviewing with lose his bag and socks. Searching all over town the night before the critical interview produced no black socks, so he used black polish to tone down his ankles and went sockless. He's now a captain. Presumably, they never noticed.

Also, if you can, use reflective tape or straps to easily distinguish your bag at a distance from all the others. It not only helps you see your luggage actually being loaded onto the aircraft, it makes it far easier to be sure that bag you just hauled off the carousel is really yours.

Surrender Works Better

I know. That's a tough statement for a demanding consumer to embrace, but it's true. You can't change the way airlines and airports operate these days, but you can greatly de-stress the process by giving yourself enough time and learning which hurdles you have to jump over -- or chutes you have to trot through.

Above all else, and regardless of what frustrations you encounter, keep your temper in check, and be courteous, friendly and calm. Medical research tells us a lot of heart attacks occur about two hours after a person gets mad, and that would be just about over Cleveland.