Penn & Teller put airport security to the test
— -- Like many travelers, the infamous, eccentric, libertarian-leaning magicians known as Penn & Teller have a gripe with airport security. "What really bothers us about the TSA is not the men and women employed there," says Penn Jillette, the taller, more talkative (at least on stage) member of the performance team. "We're just against the idea of people allowing themselves to give up freedoms when confronted with fear."
Jillette says both he and Teller used to really love being on the road. They'd been touring since the mid-1970s, but after the events of September 11, 2001, the experience lost, well, some of its magic. "We were both getting older, I wanted to have kids, and that was certainly part of it. But we also just seemed to be getting our hearts broken every time we went through airport security. We're often recognized and we are always treated very well by the TSA employees, but it bothered us to see other people getting hassled and it made being on the road much less fun."
So in 2002, the pair leaped at an opportunity to become the resident headliners at the Rio All-Suite Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Their fast-paced, awe-inspiring magic shows include guns, wood-chippers and nail guns, and are laced with laughter-inducing and, at times, biting commentary, but rarely will you hear anything overtly political. They do, however, have a few bits that touch on basic issues of rights. A long-running bit that entails wrapping the flag in the Constitution and then lighting it on fire is as much a chance to make people think about the First Amendment as is it to dazzle the audience with expert sleight of hand. And a brand new bit for which Penn & Teller purchased their very own TSA-style metal detector creates a platform for discussing the Fourth Amendment, the section of the Bill of Rights that addresses unreasonable searches and seizures.
"The bit is essentially comparing magicians, who earn their living by doing things that are sneaky and disingenuous, with bad people who do things that are sneaky and disingenuous," Jillette explains. And because he's confident that not too many people who see their show will read this column, or remember reading it when they visit Las Vegas, he gave me the OK to tell you what happens:
In addition to that real metal detector, Penn & Teller bring out one of those wands we've all had waved over us at the airport when the change in our pocket or the wire from our bra causes the machinery to beep. An audience member is invited up on stage to make sure the equipment is working, and when Jillette's pocket beeps he hands over a playing-card-sized piece of metal that just happens to have the Bill of Rights printed on it with the Fourth Amendment highlighted. Jillette says it usually elicits a big laugh when he gives the audience-assistant the mini-metal Bill of Rights and tells him how much fun it will be if he keeps it in pocket when going through the security checkpoint at McCarran International Airport.
Once it's established that the metal detector is working, the always-innocent-looking Teller walks through it and sets off no alarms. But then, from somewhere inside his coat pocket, he pulls out a metal pan that's on fire. Next, he produces a fire extinguisher and, after that, a full-size shovel. "The point we're making," says Jillette, "is that if two goofball magicians can slip this stuff by with full lights shining on them and the full attention of the audience, then what could a really bad person do?"
It's definitely something to think about next time you're waiting on line at the security-checkpoint, isn't it?
Oh, there's one more part of Penn & Teller's TSA bit that many frequent travelers will enjoy. After managing to sneak all those items through the metal detector, Penn & Teller show the audience a large stack of paper and Jillette tells the audience that it's a computer printout containing a list of every single item the TSA currently prohibits passengers from carrying on board airplanes. As they begin to unfold the paper and stretch it across the stage a six-foot-tall showgirl brandishing a bazooka suddenly, magically, appears.
"Of course," deadpans Jillette, "there's one more thing you need to watch out for: un-ticketed passengers."
Harriet Baskas writes about travel etiquette for MSNBC.com and is the author of the airport guidebook Stuck at the Airport and a blog of the same name.