What to Wear to the Vatican

August 11, 2009 — -- Q: I'm going to Rome later this month. The temperature is supposed to be in the mid-80's or higher. I heard I can't wear shorts to the Vatican. Seriously?

A: Seriously. Very seriously. You're not getting into St. Peter's Basilica or the Vatican Museums in shorts, a miniskirt or anything exposing your shoulders. The Swiss Guard turns people away all the time for inappropriate dress. (And they'll be wearing this, so don't even think about trying to persuade them that you're really hot.)

Q: What is the best way to decline someone's request to change seats on a flight? I fly alone often, and people seem to think that I shouldn't mind moving so that they can sit together. It happens often, about one out of six flights.

A: This happens to me often as well. If they ask politely and offer a seat comparable to mine (or better), or if they have a good reason to sit together (e.g., a five-year-old and his mom), I don't mind moving. Sorry, though, Lindsey Lohan, I'm not giving up 6C for 28D so you can sit next to Samantha.

You do not have to move, unless the flight attendant tells you to. (There are legitimate reasons for this—like balancing weight on a small plane.) To refuse politely, say, "I'm sorry, I'm settled in and I'd prefer to stay here."

Will you get some nasty comments? Possibly. But if it's important to you to keep your seat, you'll have to deal with them. That's what noise-canceling headphones are for.

Q: My wife and I are going to Miami with her three siblings and their spouses. We've agreed to split everything evenly. Unfortunately, they are all terrible tippers. How can we deal with this, short of always picking up the check ourselves?

A: Actually, you do need to pick up the check yourself. I don't mean pay it—just literally pick it up. Then figure out the total, including a decent tip, and announce, "It's going to be about $30 per couple, with tip." Amongst cheapskates, you have to step up and do the math.

One thing that should make it easier for you is the size of your party—many restaurants automatically add a gratuity for a table of eight.

Sharing Holiday Photos Without Showing Off

Q: Whenever I come back from a vacation, my coworkers want to see my pictures. But one person always says something like, "Wow, that looks fancy… you sure do go first class." Yes, I do—but how I choose to spend my money is my business. How should I respond to this?

A: "It was terrific." Period. Variations include, "Thanks, it was very nice," "It was lovely," and "We had a fantastic time." Repeat ad nauseam.

Don't discuss how much your trip cost, and don't attempt to pass it off as cheap when it clearly wasn't. Just keep your audience in mind and try not to overemphasize the really pricey stuff. For example, a picture of the beach outside your hotel is great; a picture of the special bath butler only available to guests on the club floor is ostentatious. You want to share, not show off.

Lesley Carlin has been writing about travel and etiquette professionally for more than 10 years. As one of the Etiquette Grrls, she is the co-author of "Things You Need to Be Told" and "More Things You Need to Be Told" (Berkley). Have a travel etiquette question of your own? E-mail Lesley at traveletiquette@tripadvisor.com.