A big look at small talk as event helps people to have deeper discussions

A room filled with people talking and sharing their thoughts can be either an extrovert's dream or an introvert's nightmare. Now, "Skip the Small Talk Dinner" events are encouraging all types of strangers to get closer, faster. The idea is built around using cards with thought-provoking questions to help attendees interact.

Ashley Kirsner is the founder of Skip the Small Talk, which currently hosts in-person events in major cities in the United States and Europe and online events that you can attend from anywhere, according to the company's website.

Similar to speed dating, the speed friending small talk events are run by people who promote and host the functions at local bars. Caitlyn Jones is a community leader and a Skip the Small Talk host all around New York.

"We have some people who are coming because they're brand new to this city and they're looking to make friends," Jones said. "Some people are coming because they're in transitory period of their life. Maybe they're switching jobs, or they went through a breakup and they just need a space to talk openly and honestly and vulnerably."

Jones pairs people for 10-minute conversations using a series of question prompts. Participants are encouraged to discuss something meaningful to them and approach the conversations slightly differently than they normally would with strangers.

In recent years, younger generations have reported difficulty navigating such conversations, including in the workplace. According to The Wall Street Journal, schools and companies are even taking it upon themselves to teach conversational skills like small talk in classes.

Alison Wood Brooks, O'Brien Associate Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School, is one of those professors.

"Most of my students deeply dread small talk, and will do anything to avoid it," Brooks said.

Her class at Harvard focuses on handling difficult situations, such as job interviews or high-stakes work meetings.

"It's also focusing on contexts that are less threatening, the kind that we have all day long, every day, because it's just so pervasive," Brooks said.

Brooks said that social media is a contributing factor to the decline of interpersonal skills for the younger generations. With the advancement of social media and technology she says it has simplified the process of staying connected. However, a concern arises as individuals are not required to engage in face-to-face conversations.

"The landscape today for young people is not giving them as many opportunities to actually interact with people face to face, and therefore they're not getting as much practice," Brooks said. "Another school of thought that's always on my mind is, maybe conversation is just hard for everyone, and it always has been. But today, maybe we are more aware or becoming more alive to the possibility that it's a skill that's worth working on."

Participating in an event like "Skip the Small Talk" can be a great way to improve your social skills. It can be difficult for some people to avoid giving simple responses like talking about the weather or saying "what about you," but events like this can encourage more meaningful and deeper conversations.

Joshua Vargas, a 27-year-old from New Jersey, has attended several "Skip the Small Talk" events and relishes the chance to engage in deep conversations with people.

"It's almost like it serves as, like a butter when it comes to trying to make sure that conversations go smooth. If you add too much butter to like an ingredient, it gets too, you know, too fatty, too much of something," Vargas said. "And I feel like often it's overused."

While discussing a more substantial topic leads to deeper relationships, small talk is still necessary, says Brooks.

"The problem isn't with small talk topics themselves, but that we stay on them for too long," Brooks said. "Nobody wants to talk about the weather for 10 minutes, but everyone needs to talk about the weather as a starting point and a place to search around for better treasure."

We can't completely "skip" small talk, but for individuals like Vargas, the event provided an opportunity to dig for something more meaningful.

"Being 27 post-grad, I didn't have a lot of skills, I guess, in the corporate world and trying to understand how to navigate certain conversations," Vargas said. "This specific event has given me the ability to be more flexible (in) and how I think, ask questions, and think about other people's feelings that may not exactly feel the same way."