Ron Burgundy Is Writing a Book, Gwyneth Paltrow Irks Author

Aug. 14, 2013 — -- quicklist: 1title: 'Anchorman' Ron Burgundy to Write Classy Memoirtext: Get ready, world. Everyone's favorite fake newsman Ron Burgundy is writing a tell-all memoir.

The upcoming book is titled "Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings" and will be published by Random House's Crown Archetype.

Let's hope we all find a way to "stay classy" when Burgundy tells tales from his fake childhood and early fake career in television journalism. We can only hope.

"I don't know if it's the greatest autobiography ever written. I'm too close to the work," "Burgundy" said in a news release. "I will tell you this much: the first time I sat down and read this thing ... I cried like a [godd**n] baby, and you can take that to the bank!"

Will Ferrell played the arrogant, flamboyant, jazz-flute wielding San Diego anchorman in 2004's "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy." He will reprise the role in "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues," which comes out Dec. 20.

The book will be released Nov. 19. Until then ... You stay classy, San Diego.

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quicklist: 2title: Gwyneth Paltrow Irks Writer at Book Signing text: Some people don't understand the gravitas that comes with being Goop.

Author Christina Oxenberg was at an authors-night event held by the East Hampton Library this weekend where cookbook author Gwyneth Paltrow was also scheduled to appear.

"Due to the inflexibility of the alphabet, I had the questionable good fortune to be seated directly beside Gwyneth Paltrow," Oxenberg wrote on her website.

Paltrow was running late for the New York event and a line formed for her in front of Oxenberg's table.

"Then the divinity in question arrived with hubby, children and a couple of massive bodyguards," Oxenberg wrote. "The worshippers blocked my view of the whole world, abusing my tiny territory upon which to abandon their trash or lean their sorry [a**es]."

Eventually, Oxenberg wrote, she did the one thing she realized needed to be done. She went over to the food table, piled up her plate with meats and crawled under the table back to her seat when Paltrow's bodyguards blocked her.

"And there I sat with my meat products, wafting the excellent smells toward my sleek vegan neighbor," Oxenberg wrote. "She ignored the siren smells of protein. We never did say hello, although I did try to sell my book to her sleek vegan children. No bites."

Paltrow is known for her healthy eating, but is not a vegan.

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quicklist: 3title: Sandra Oh Turning in Her Scrubs on 'Grey's Anatomy'text: Say it ain't so, Oh!

Sandra Oh has played brilliant and competitive surgeon Dr. Cristina Yang on the show for the past nine seasons. Everyone loves Cristina because she tells it like it is and isn't afraid to call-out the other drama-prone docs on their stuff.

She's also won hearts as Meredith Grey's "person," as they say on the show. The best friends have been together through thick and thin and known to "dance it out" when things get really rough.

Oh announced that she will leave the show after the tenth season, which begins Sept. 26.

"Creatively, I really feel like I gave it my all, and I feel ready to let her go," Oh told the Hollywood Reporter. "It's such an interesting thing to play a character for so long and to actually get the sense that she wants to be let go as well. [Cristina] wants to be let go, and I am ready to let her go. We have to start the process, story-wise, for the Grey's writers to think of why she's going to go."

Grey's fans still have an entire season to enjoy Dr. Yang before she scrubs out for the last time. Tear.

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quicklist: 4title: Dallas Cowboys Moving to Frisco, People Caretext: All right, Internet. You've puzzled Social Climber with this one a little bit.

The Dallas Cowboys are moving their headquarters from Irving, Tex., to Frisco, which is about 30 miles north. The Cowboys got final approval for the move Monday, in a deal that ends 40 years of calling Irving home, according to The Associated Press. Apparently, this is a big deal.

While the Cowboys Frisco move seems to be very interesting to y'all, the only Texas football news Social Climber would truly be genuinely excited about is if Dillon, Texas, of "Friday Night Lights" turned out to be a real place and a Coach Taylor lived there with his prefect wife, Tami Taylor.

Let us know when that happens.

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quicklist: 5title: Soulja Boy Reportedly Thrown Off American Airlines Flight text: Move over, Alec Baldwin. It looks like American Airlines has a new problem customer. Rapper Soulja Boy was reportedly thrown off a flight.

Rapper Soulja Boy was reportedly marched off an American Airlines flight after he continued to stand in the aisle on the Friday flight, even after flight attendants told passengers they needed to sit down with their seat belts fastened, USA Today reported.

Apparently, Soulja Boy wasn't ready to sit down. TMZ has video of him with security on the plane. The rapper later apologized.

"It was a bad night and me and the flight staff didn't see eye to eye," he told TMZ. "In hindsight, I'm extremely sorry for all inconvenience caused to the passengers and employees of the airline."

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quicklist: 6title: Boy Finds Diamond, Everyone Freaks Outtext: Here's this story in a nutshell: Boy finds diamond. Everyone is so happy. Park worker says, "It is thrilling any time a child finds a diamond." Amazing.

Twelve-year-old Michael Dettlaff of North Carolina was on vacation with his family in Arkansas when they decided to visit Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park, the State Parks of Arkansas posted on its website. During the visit, Michael found a 5.16-carat, honey-brown diamond after surface searching for less than 10 minutes in the park's diamond-search area.

Wait. So there's a place called "Crater of Diamonds State Park" where diamonds are just lying around for people to find?! And you only need a few minutes? Social Climber has the GPS ready. What's the address?

Apparently, the diamond is the 27th largest gem found at the park and the eighth-largest brown diamond to be certified by park staff. Michael named his rock the "God's Glory Diamond."

"The park's policy is finder-keepers," the park's news release said.

Sorry, gotta go ...

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quicklist: 7Title: Social Climber: Top Search + Social Trends Explained