'20/20' Inquirer -- Is Tipping Out of Control?

Dec. 10, 2004 — -- No, it's not your imagination. These days you are tipping more. There's the waiter and waitress, the parking attendant, the car wash attendant, even the bathroom attendant. Then there's the piano man, the doorman, the bellman. There's room service, the hotel maid, shampoo girl, hair stylist, even the waxer.

And now a growing trend, all those cups -- the not so subtle tip jars -- calling, as if it were the collection plate in church.

Nowhere is the tip jar more prevalent than at Starbucks, the country's largest coffee chain. A tip jar for a cup of coffee that can cost nearly $5? A tip jar for workers who already have what many restaurant employees don't have -- health insurance.

But the mere presence of the tip jar makes a lot of people feel obliged to put something in it.

"I do it, but it's more because I'm almost embarrassed if I don't," said one Starbucks customer who spoke to "20/20."

Why do these tip jars annoy people so much?

"I think because they're right there in their face and also because they seem so impersonal," said Peggy Post, the great-granddaughter-in-law of the original good manners expert, Emily Post, and the author of the new, 17th edition of "Emily Post's Etiquette."

So, what is the proper tip for a 95 cent or $1 cup of coffee?

"One or two quarters seems to be the norm. ... but not everyone tips these jars. It is optional, that's the bottom line," said Post.

When the Economy Dips, So Do the Tips

The last time "20/20" did a story on the question of tipping was in 1999, when the economy was booming. Back then many people didn't think twice about leaving very large tips. But that's no longer the case. To quote a fundamental principal of classical economics -- that was then, and this is now.

A few waiters and waitresses, who depend on tips to make a living, spoke with "20/20" about the dropoff in gratuities.

"People are very, much more conscientious about things now. I mean I see a lot more calculators coming out -- a lot more pens and splitting," said one waitperson.

"I was working three nights a week, and making roughly what I'm making now working five," said another waiter.

So, what if a server's service is bad? Should you still tip, because they're relying on you?

"I don't advocate doing that, do something under 10 percent, you'll get the message across," Post said.

Tipping Guidelines

Here's the hard truth, the people who serve you are really your workers and you're paying their salaries through your tips. So with that in mind, here are the generally accepted guidelines for how much to tip:

Waiters/Waitresses: The range now is between 15 percent and 20 percent. This is for average to good service.

A Food Delivery Person: 10 percent of the bill, at least $1 though for bills up to $10. You should tip 15 percent to 20 percent for a difficult delivery.

Hairdresser or Barber: 15 percent to 20 percent.

Your Shampoo Person: $2 to $5.

Apartment Building Personnel: There are a slew of people to remember during the holidays. Including the doorman, the handyman and the super. Give each at least: $25 to $100.

'20/20' Inquirer Ballot Results

Here's what ABCNEWS.com readers had to say about tipping.

Is tipping out of control?

Yes: 86%

No: 14%

Why do you tip?

49% - It's the right thing to do

41% - It's required. You have to!

6% - It makes me feel good.

4% - I don't tip.

What bothers you most about tipping?30% - Bathroom attendants

29% - Take-out food tipping

21% - Salon tipping - from wash to cut to color, it's endless

20% - Tip jars at coffee shops

How much do you tip?

67% - 10 percent to 15 percent

13% - 10 percent

12% - 20 percent or more

8% - 10 percent or less

For more information on who and how much to tip, in general and for the holidays, visit www.emilypost.com.