Air Travel: Where Has All the Glamour Gone?

June 1, 2007— -- Seen the new Maroon 5 video for "Makes Me Wonder"? It makes airline travel look sexy and cool. Just like in those 1960s movies when stewardesses, as flight attendants were called then, were something girls dreamed of becoming and boys dreamed of dating.

Those were the days when the pilot had an air about him that said: "I'm the most reliable and capable man in the world," and a jet was a marvel -- like a spaceship that the privileged few got to ride to exotic locales.

So when did flying in a 757 become akin to riding in the back of a Greyhound bus? Flying used to be a treat: an adventure to plan, save up for and look forward to. Slowly but surely, the mystique of flying has become a myth, or worse, a complete misnomer.

Some people, like Ashley Curiel, a behavioral consultant, believe that flying isn't worth the risk. "Unless you have a DUI or a revoked license, you should never ride on a plane. I would try hitchhiking first. It's safer," said Curiel.

With the rising cost of fuel, and many airlines being on the brink of bankruptcy, airline travel is going through some big changes.

For years, airlines have stopped serving meals in the main cabin (I like to refer to it as steerage class) and offering snacks in their place that are, quite frankly, subpar.

One frequent flier, Amy Scribner, lamented: "Flying coach is like the cheap tix on the Titanic.You feel lucky to have gotten a ticket, and you aren't allowed to speak to anyone in business or first class."

Scribner added: "On a recent flight of mine, in first class, mind you, the steward announced that we would have a choice of snacks that evening: sun chips, peanuts, a granola bar or raisins. What is this? Preschool? No more meals in coach, unless you pay for a fabulous snack box. And forget about free drinks if your flight is delayed.

Curiel agreed: "Riding in coach is like riding in a chicken coop except that chickens have better amenities."

But some are happier with the new options. Says Joel Stein of the Los Angeles Times, "I love that they've stopped giving me frozen dinners. microwaved pasta is the worst. I can bring my own food and no one wakes me."

I spoke with two male flight attendants on the flight that I filmed for my blog, and they admitted that they were embarrassed by the fact that hot meals were replaced by the infamous snacks. They also shared that it was harder for them, as they had to keep an inventory on every single purchase.

One of these adorable and friendly flight attendants shared a story with me. The Olsen twins had been in first class the week before. One of them didn't feel satiated by her meal and asked for two snack boxes. He had to charge her and she was a bit shocked. Her reaction: "I've never had to pay for these." He told her he had no choice.

The bathrooms are a real problem too. They're never clean. I was called "brave" for entering one in my stocking feet. Stein is not as fearful of going shoeless: "I like that we all take our shoes off together. It feels Japanesy and intimate. Plus, I get to see women's feet. Richard Reid has made me realize I have a foot fetish. Thanks, Rich."

I was with my son and had to change his pull-up. Well, there's no changing table in there, so it isn't the easiest thing to do. What's worse is the disapproving faces of those waiting in line when you finally emerge after five minutes of struggling with your toddler. I try to be fast! I really do.

Meanwhile, when I'm lucky enough to get upgraded, there's always some guy in business class who comes out of the bathroom with a newspaper and an entitled look after a good, long time while you wait in line with five others. Like it's his right to have "private time" then and there.

That's the new meaning of the Mile High Club, my friends. People push and shove and have no courtesy toward their fellow passengers.

How about those inflight exercise videos designed especially for air travel? As if there's room for your neighbor in seat 16C to bend over and touch his toes in the aisle so that you have his rear end 3 inches from your nose.

As the price of tickets goes up, the amenities seem to go down. Just when we've slowly gotten used to the fact that the glamour is gone, there has been talk about allowing passengers to use cell phones on flights. They say the idea has been nixed -- for now -- but how long will they be able to prevent Crackberry-addicted fiends and cell phone-o-philes from tap, tap, tapping away or talking away on their PDAs? We will all look back dreamily on screaming babies when the time comes to listen to Fred from Fargo discuss widget pricing with a co-worker for three hours straight. Or Susie from the city giggling as her boyfriend whispers sweet nothings in her ear -- and, unintentionally, her fellow passengers as well. (Don't fool yourself. We all know that everyone can hear the person on the other end of the line when you're in a confined space.)

I grew up on the airlines, flying all over the United States and all over the world. My parents dressed us up for such occasions, and made sure we knew to respect other people's space, especially given that space was limited onboard. Heck, even smokers were respectful of others' rights. You didn't hear of people raging against flight attendants, acting out by using the meal cart as a urinal, or pushing mothers with children aside in order to get to their first- or business-class seat, not caring that you have to carry armloads of equipment with you when traveling with kids.

For years, flying used to be the last vestige of privacy: A place where no one could reach you and people relaxed and decompressed. Now it's just plain aggravating and stressful. Not only are the passengers often rude, unshowered and miserable, but you have to contend with flight attendants who are just plain annoyed if you ask for something. Can you blame them? They're flying for a living. It's their job to be stuck in a metal tube breathing recycled air. Scribner said, "There are moments when I feel like I'm flying in a beer can. Coors Airlines -- the Silver Bullet."

Honestly, I'd rather go back to the "Catch Me If You Can" days and sit in the smoking section for six hours. It would be more comfortable -- and safer.