Sports Rage Fight Latest in Series

July 11, 2000 -- Fights like the one that killed Massachusetts hockey father Michael Costin last week are breaking out in increasing numbers at youth sports games, experts say.

“It is a trend and it is on the rise. Not only is it on the rise, but the type of violence has become more violent,” said Bob Still, a spokesman for the National Association of Sports Officials.

Costin died after a fight with fellow parent Thomas Junta during a hockey game their sons were playing in Reading, Mass., on July 5.

In February, a soccer coach in Florida was charged with battery for head-butting a referee. In January, New York father Matt Picca was accused of beating up his son’s hockey coach after a verbal argument.

The grim, competitive attitude that leads to such conflicts is driving kids out of sports, said Fred Engh, president of the National Alliance for Youth Sports.

“When 70 percent of the children that play sports drop out by the age of 13, that should tell us something. The number one reason they said in a survey was that it ceased to be fun,” he said.

The Ego Problem

The root of the problem is the demand to be number one in an affluent, competitive society, Engh said. Parents drive their children to believe that success at all costs — not fun or good sportsmanship — is the goal of youth sports, he said.

Parents are pushing children because of their own fear of failure, hoping that their children will redeem their own failures in life: “It’s not Billy at bat, it’s me at bat, and I’m not going to strike out again like I did the first time around,” Engh said.

Kids agreed. “They want to get pride through their kids,” said youth hockey player Garrett Lahey. “They get too crazy about it sometimes.”

And the kids are driven to win from very early ages. Parents compete to get their kids into selective sports programs, the best schools, and to drive their children to athletic and academic honors.

“From preschool age onward the fight among families, between children, to succeed at early elementary school sports activities is intense,” said clinical child psychologist Ben Garber.

Philip Ellison, a friend of Costin and a youth hockey player, said the parents need to lighten up.

“In youth hockey, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose as long as you go out and have fun. The parents get too wrapped up, and I think they should calm down and enjoy the game,” he said.

Possible Solution

Seventeen youth sports programs have responded to the violence by adopting a mandatory training program from the National Alliance for Youth Sports to give parents a code of ethics.

The Jupiter/Tequesta Athletic Association in Jupiter, Fla., was the first. President Jeff Leslie said the league had a lot of trouble before the program began.

“We’ve had kids fighting, umpires, parents ... we had eight or 10 people threatening to sue somebody because of being embarrassed at the park over something,” he said.

Since they started the NAYS program, which combines an educational video with a code of ethics and disciplinary rules for parents, “the number of incidents has just decreased tremendously,” Leslie said.

The key is to make the program mandatory for all parents, Leslie said. The Jupiter league hasn’t lost a single family over the ethics program, and the parents now police themselves. That’s made for happier players on the field.

“The kids are just ecstatic about it,” he said. ABCNEWS Radio contributed to this report.