Danger, Research and a Paycheck

June 18, 2007 — -- All of us have those days at the office -- you know, the ones where you break a heel, or spill coffee all over yourself, or forget about an important meeting. Well, the next time you feel like Alexander in Judith Viorst's "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day," just think of Popular Science's Top 10 Worst Jobs in Science and be thankful that you're not the person analyzing maggots on decaying bodies, neutering wild elephants or sailing the high seas in search of whale feces.

"When you ask these people about their work, they don't think of themselves as having bad jobs. They think it's fascinating and they can't even imagine why anyone would think otherwise," Popular Science deputy editor Jake Ward told ABC News. "That's part of why they're so good at it, they just bring a level of objective interest to their work that makes them great at it."

For the past four years, his magazine has scanned labs, morgues, sewers and even institutes of higher learning across the United States to compile its annual list of the year's Worst Jobs in Science. These careers require not only an iron stomach, but also an incredible amount of precision, dedication and passion.

So, what exactly are this year's most unappealing professions? Here's the list, along with Ward's assessment of what it takes to complete these careers.

10. Whale-Feces Researcher: Talk about a job that "stinks." With help from a few well-trained sniffer dogs, Rosalind Rolland, a senior researcher at the New England Aquarium based in Boston, spends her days in Nova Scotia's Bay of Fundy tracking elusive right whales and scooping up their excrement in order to bring it back to her lab and run tests on it.

"The difficulty of working with an endangered species of whale like the right whale is that you can't exactly kill it and take it apart," said Ward. "You have to learn about its insides any way you can, so with their feces, you can learn about bio-toxins in their system, you can learn whether they are pregnant, you can learn about genetics and their lineage, and you can tell individuals apart by gender, by group, by mother and daughter. It's almost as good as dissecting a whale."

Thanks to Rolland's data, scientists have gained invaluable information about the right whale species -- their environment, their mating habits, and even their stress levels.

9. Forensic Entomologist: As a result of the success of such television shows as "CSI," the forensics field has undergone a dramatic overhaul in the eyes of the public. But don't be fooled, forensic entomology is not for the faint of heart, the squeamish, nor the insectophobic. These scientists spend their days basking in the florescent light of the city or county morgue analyzing bugs on decaying corpses. They check maggots, larvae, blowflies and anything that breeds off of decaying human flesh in order to determine the "postmortem interval," or the gap between the time of death and time of the body's discovery.

"It's incredibly gross," Ward said. "The people who handle [forensic entomology] are a whole other species of human, as far as I can tell, but these people see the grossest thing you can see, the most horrifying thing you can see, and it just leads them into their career, they love it and move forward into it so it's just amazing to watch."

8. Olympic Drug Tester:

Although they do not have to endure the smell of whale waste or the sight of decaying flesh, professional athletics drug testers are constantly stuck in a tough position. "If you bust an athlete, you are ruining their career, you are up-ending their countries' prospects for gold, but, if you don't nail them and you don't do your job properly, you get absolutely nailed in the media. It's just a lose-lose situation for these guys," Ward explained.

Aside from constantly feeling like a tattle-tale, Olympic drug testers are also expected to keep up to speed on the ever changing performance enhancing supplements. "Drug testers are always going to be behind, are always going to be playing catch-up, so it's a very, very frustrating job," he said.

7. Gravity Research Subject: One of the first things every kid learns at camp is sleeping overnight with your head downhill leads to one major headache. Now imagine getting paid to spend three weeks lying perfectly still at a negative 6 degree angle. Ouch.

Well, that is exactly what researchers at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston are asking test subjects to do, as a way of simulating the effects of weightlessness on the human body. "As the blood rushes to their heads, over the course of that time, they get the puffy face, the shifted organs, all the symptoms of weightlessness which allows these researches to find out more about it," Ward said. "Not only are they stuck in that position, they are subjected to a centrifugal test … every day they are spun around to get blood down to their feet and get the effects of heavy G [forces]."

But the job is not totally without its perks. They endure weeks of excruciating pain and discomfort, but NASA's gravity guinea pigs are handsomely rewarded with a $6,000 pay day.

6. Microsoft Security Grunt: These are the people behind the Microsoft Security Response Center, who sift through the approximately 100,000 e-mails a year sent to secure@microsoft.com.

Once compared to the last line of defense at the Alamo, these techies ward off hackers, repair kinks in each of Microsoft's bestselling products, from Windows to Internet Explorer and Office, and, generally, protect the company from its many foes. "To the millions of hacker's around the world, Microsoft is like the Death Star in 'Star Wars' and they see themselves as the rebel force. So they'll do anything to exploit security loopholes, get in there and worm something in there, so these guys are under assault all the time," said Ward.

5. Coursework Carcass Preparer: Picture a ninth grade biology class, and it's frog dissection day. Odds are you can still smell the formaldehyde. Now imagine spending your entire career working in those fumes. That is exactly how coursework carcasses preparers spend their days -- killing, pickling, and bottling everything from frogs and fetal pigs to cats, pigeons and even sharks.

"A biological supply preparer is responsible for every frog or snake you've ever cut apart in biology class," said Ward. "It's definitely suited to a particular kind of person. If you're interested in biology and you've got a strong stomach, it's definitely quite pleasant work. A lot of people quit immediately and the rest are lifelong employees who really enjoy it."

4. Garbologist: A term invented by Stanford University professor William Rathje, "garbology," as its name suggests, is the archaeological and anthropological study of garbage. Rathkje's work "involves going to landfills, digging out a deep well into the piles of refuse, and then analyzing what he finds." Since 1973, Rathje estimates he has sifted through, cataloged, and analyzed approximately 250,000 pounds of waste.

"A garbolobist is trying to analyze modern consumption patterns and how long it takes for refuse to break down. It's an important consideration in an increasingly populist society," said Ward. "[Rathje's] found quite a lot of really interesting relationships. Evidently there's a correlation between cat ownership and being a reader of the National Enquirer, based on what they've found of kitty litter and its proximity to the National Enquirer."

3. Elephant Vasectomist: Mark Setter, head veterinarian at Disney's Animal Kingdom in Florida, recently invented a tool that will solve the predicament of overpopulation of elephants in Africa. However, using his tool lands Setter and his invention at No. 3 on Popular Science's list.

Setter's 4-foot-long fiberoptic laparoscope is attached to a video monitor to help scientists to see inside the randy bull elephant as they remove its testicles. The procedure itself is simple enough. But, before going under the knife, scientists must first track, sedate and hoist the pachyderm four feet off the ground with a crane.

"They have to remove the testicles, which involves going through muscle and fat, and then removing these really large organs before the elephant can wake up, get angry, and take it out on anyone around them. So, it requires bravery, speed, precision, and a lot of humility," said Ward.

2. Oceanographer: Oceanographers' jobs are "getting harder and harder every year," said Ward. Faced with the predictions that by 2048 seafood will no longer exist, coral reefs will vanish in the next decade and that an ever expanding mass of garbage the size of Texas in the North Pacific has caused irreparable damage to the world's water supply, these scientists are charged not only with protecting the health of the ocean, but also with turning the prognosis around.

"Oceanographers are really tasked with just analyzing sad facts on deoxygenating oceans, increased pollution, whole masses of garbage swirling in the middle of the ocean. What it really is, is a testament to how devoted and loyal a bunch of people they are.

"They're working extremely hard on a very difficult problem, but they also are very optimistic people. They believe that we can turn it around and the ocean is a very dynamic living environment and they feel that with the proper care, we can turn it around, but so far that has not been the case," said Ward.

1. Hazmat Diver: Finally, the worst science job of 2007. If you like scuba diving and hazardous waste, then you've found your dream job. Hazmat divers are the craziest of the crazies, or the toughest of the tough -- depending on how you looking at it.

These men and women risk their lives every day and literally jump head first into their work -- choosing to swim in a vat of hazardous materials like pig feces, an oil spill or a sewer rather than sit behind a desk.

"Of all the bad jobs we looked at this year, the worst without question has to be hazardous materials divers. These guys are made of the sternest stuff around," Ward said. "They're paid no more than your average accountant, yet they risk their lives every day in the most unimaginable horrible circumstances to get the job done."