Limits of Kindness?

CARLSBAD, Calif., May 3, 2007 — -- The sign outside the Pilgrim United Church of Christ reads "All are welcome." Now a registered sex offender is sorely testing that principle.

This Sunday, the members of this small, tight-knit congregation meets for what promises to be a wrenching debate and vote on whether — and how — to accept sex offenders.

Watch the full report from on Friday, May 4 on "World News With Charles Gibson".

This "crisis" as Pastor Madison Shockley describes it, started on the last Sunday in January, when Shockley introduced a registered sex offender (whose name we are withholding at the request of the church) to the congregation. The man was asking to become a member of the church.

"It ripped us apart," said Shockley. "It was devastating. There was a big chasm among people with different opinions, different histories; an intense debate ensued. For a brief time, the first week after this happened, we were looking at a church split right in the eye."

On that Sunday, the registered sex offender rose and told the stunned congregation — few of whom were given prior warning — that he'd been convicted of molesting two boys in 1983 and then of exposing himself to a group of children in 1998. He said he'd been released from a mental hospital last year and now hoped to join the church as a way of reintegrating into society.

"I'm just looking forward to getting back into the community," he said, "and hopefully being accepted by you all."

Community Reacts, Expressess Vulnerability

Many of the members were supportive. Pilgrim prides itself on being an "open, affirming and inclusive" church, committed to progressive theology and social justice. They believe that Jesus extends an "extravagant welcome." Many saw this as an opportunity to put their beliefs to work in the real world.

Some members, however, had serious doubts. Parents, in particular, worried about the safety of their children, even though the sex offender has agreed to be escorted at all times.

"On the one hand, I feel very sorry for him, because he had a very hard life," said Melissa Peterson, a mother of two and a church member for 10 years. "But on the other hand, I'm being asked to put the person that I am in charge of, and is in my care, and is a vulnerable and innocent child — I'm kind of being asked to put that person at stake for these ideas."

Perhaps the most emotional reaction has come from members who are survivors of child sex abuse.

David Irvine, who was molested by a neighbor at the age of 10, has been a Pilgrim parishioner for 13 years. His hands shook as he spoke about the "spiritual violence" he said had been done to him by allowing a sex offender into his Sunday sanctuary.

"I do feel I need to keep my own self safe," he explained. "That means I really don't want to be in a place where across the sanctuary there's another person who's done this."

April Bird, another Pilgrim parishioner, was also molested as a child. But she strongly supports allowing offenders to join.

"To have said no to this request, for me, would have been like giving the person who abused me in my childhood power over how I could act and how I could live out my beliefs," she told ABC News.

Policy Debate Among Congregations Across the Country

Churches across the country are wrestling with the issue of accepting sex offenders. A group called Keeping Kids Safe Ministries based in Nashville, Tenn., said it trains about 50 churches a week.

Experts say all churches (as well as temples and mosques) should develop policies on how to deal with sex offenders.

The leadership of Pilgrim United Church of Christ has been working on just that.

This Sunday, members will vote on a "safe church" policy that would set guidelines for accepting registered sex offenders. The policy would require such offenders to agree to undergo a psychological risk assessment and to accept a constant escort when on church property.

This crisis — which at one point threatened to irreparably divide the congregation of Pilgrim Church — has now become much more civil. Even abuse survivor Irvine, who led the opposition to accepting sex offenders, seems hopeful that a compromise can be worked out.

Irvine agrees that offenders need and deserve spiritual assistance. He's hopeful the church can provide separate services, so that those who are not comfortable worshiping with offenders do not have to do so.

Everyone we spoke with at Pilgrim predicted this struggle will ultimately make the church stronger.

Shockley said he sees God at work. "Wrestling with these issues has made us stronger and closer," he said.