Same-Sex Parent: 'We're Pretty Typical'

May 22, 2004 -- Kim Musheno and Catherine Alston are a lesbian couple living in Silver Spring, Md., with a 3-year-old son, Alec.

"We both shared the same dream of having a family and having kids, Musheno says, "and talked about growing old together in a suburban house in rocking chairs and the whole American dream."

In the past, same-sex families were typically the result of a divorced parent living with a new gay partner. But today, same-sex families are often formed through adoption or a visit to a fertility clinic.

With gay marriages now taking place in Massachusetts, there's a chance there soon could be more same-sex parents.

"More gay couples are deciding to have kids, because they feel like they can," Musheno says, "because they feel like the society is more accepting."

Ill Effects?

The 2000 Census reported that 600,000 households in the U.S. are headed by same-sex partners. Of those, 33 percent of lesbian couples and 22 percent of male couples reported having children aged 18 or under.

A recent Los Angeles Times poll found 61 percent of Americans believe a homosexual could make a good role model for a child. And according to a recent study by the American Academy of Pediatrics, children raised by homosexual parents showed virtually no differences from those raised by heterosexual parents.

Still, critics say nontraditional families put children at risk.

"The reality is you just can't make up for it," says Genevieve Wood of the Family Research Council. "Two moms can't make a dad and two dads can't make a mom. Children learn different things from their mother than they do from their father and vice versa."

Musheno sees her household as fairly normal.

"We have a golden retriever, a cat; we have a minivan," Musheno says. "We're pretty typical."

Father Figures

Perhaps unlike some lesbian couples who use sperm from a fertility clinic, she says her son has a father figure. Alec's biological father via artificial insemination is Joe Price, a gay man.

"Through mutual friends, I met Kim and Catherine, and they were interested in having a baby," Price says.

Having a biological connection to their kids was important to Musheno and Alston, and they wanted to find the right father.

"I preferred that it would be someone that we knew," Musheno says, "because when you go to a sperm bank, you don't really know what you're getting."

Last month, Musheno became a mother again to another son, Carter. This time, Price's partner, Victor Zaborsky, is the biological father.

Price disagrees with those who say an arrangement like his could be bad for children.

"I can't see how having that many people loving one child, how he could ever turn out in anyway other than wonderful," Price says.