Macklemore opens up about his 'really painful' relapse, sobriety journey

Macklemore is opening up about his "very painful" 2020 relapse.

The "Thrift Shop" rapper, 38, first discussed this personal topic while speaking last April on Dax Shepard's "Armchair Expert" podcast. He said he was inspired to open up after hearing Shepard's own story, and he hoped he would help even more people by sharing his recent experience.

"I'm like, 'You know what? I don't need to pretend like I'm some perfect dude in recovery.' I am not at all, and there's no shame," Macklemore -- whose real name is Benjamin Hammond Haggerty -- recalled to People in an interview published Tuesday.

"It was really painful for myself and for the people who loved me. I stopped doing the work," he continued, adding that the pandemic triggered his relapse. "When I have to be still and exist within my own head, that's where my disease lives."

Macklemore said his family stepped in when he needed them most and helped put him on the path to recovery. He recalled how his father put him in a treatment facility during his 2008 relapse and said, "Getting that help saved my life."

The Grammy winner said that, while his family does play a role in keeping him accountable, the responsibility falls solely on him. He and wife Tricia Davis share three children together: 6-year-old Sloane, 3-year-old Colette and Hugo, who was born last July.

Although Macklemore said he wanted to get clean when expecting his first child, he noted, "That's not how this disease works. My kids can't keep me clean. I have to do the work."

When talking about addiction and treatment, the "Can't Hold Us" rapper stressed, "I hope that people will come out of the shadows, that the guilt and the shame of the disease of addiction lessen and we don't feel like we need to hide anymore."

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, call SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). SAMHSA's National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service.