Don't Let the 'Sex Talk' Come Too Little, Too Late for Your Teen

Dec. 7, 2009— -- When Cooper Schwartz was 13, his parents were the last people on Earth he wanted to talk to about sex.

Given that his mother, Pepper Schwartz, is a sex educator and co-author of "Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Sex and Character," sex had always been a subject for open discussion. But when he hit puberty, "it was 'anyone but you' for a few years," Pepper Schwartz said.

No one ever said that talking to your kids about sex was easy -- especially when the talk about the birds and bees turns to things like sexually transmitted diseases, birth control or masturbation -- but that's no excuse to put off the discussion, Schwartz says.

A new study from Harvard finds that more than 40 percent of parents don't get around to talking to their kids about safe sex practices until after their kids are sexually active.

Two thirds of sons in the study said they had not talked with a parent about how to use a condom before they started having sex.

"It's sad to hear that so many parents [are] so far behind the curve," Schwartz said after hearing about the study. "Sex education is a lifelong thing [and parents] need to be able to pass on good information," even if they can't always be the messengers themselves.

When Cooper Schwartz said he wasn't comfortable talking to his parents, Pepper referred him to a few trusted male friends and said, "You have to have someone to talk to about this stuff." Cooper did turn to one of them, though within a year or so, he got over his embarrassment and began talking about sex with his mother again.