In financial trouble? You might want to explain it to your kids
— -- Talking to your kids about sex is easy, especially if you have cable. Talking to your kids about money, though, is often difficult.
The roots of this discomfort run deep. Some adults were raised to believe that it's tacky to talk about how much money they make. Others want to shield their children from financial worries.
But if you're having a hard time paying the bills, hiding your struggles from your children is a mistake, says Olivia Mellan, a psychotherapist and co-author of Overcoming Overspending: A Winning Plan for Spenders and Their Partners. "Trying to prevent your kids from experiencing any pain is not really the best way to be a parent."
Your children will probably figure out something is wrong whether you tell them or not, says Howard Dvorkin, founder of Consolidated Credit Counseling Services in Fort Lauderdale. "If you don't address it straight on, they really start to imagine things, and they'll imagine things for the worst," he says.
Dvorkin and other financial education pros recommend convening a family meeting to discuss the state of your finances. Some tips on how to organize an effective family confab:
•Stay positive. Reassure your children that even though you're going through some financial troubles, they'll still have a place to sleep and food to eat, Dvorkin says. If you lost your job, tell them about your plans to look for a new one.
Convey to your children that you have matters under control, says Christy Buchanan, a psychology professor at Wake Forest University. "Kids look to their parents to protect them," she says. "The reason it's important for kids to feel that parents are taking care of a situation like that is because kids don't know what to do."
But in your efforts to reassure your children, don't make promises you can't keep. Don't tell your kids that they'll never have to move if there's a chance you'll lose your house, Buchanan says. Even if you're facing some major lifestyle changes, she says, "Parents can give confidence that the most important thing in our life is our relationship with each other and the time we spend together."
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