Oct. 17, 2012 -- intro: Sure, Glenn Beck said he would create a clothing line the day he left Fox in 2011, but you'd be forgiven for wondering whether the conservative talk show host would really go the route of Diddy, J-Lo, Kim Kardashian and so many other celebrities who endeavor to have you wear their branding on your backside.
Turns out, he kept his word. Three weeks ago Beck debuted 1791, a collection of T-shirts and fleece zip-ups named after the year the Bill of Rights was ratified. It's seeing "gangbuster sales," according to his own news site, and the line "mirrors the philanthropic arm of Newman's Own," again, according to Beck's website, by donating part of its proceeds to charity.
This week, Beck revealed 1791's denim line with a video in the running for Most Patriotic Advertisement Ever.
"These were the first American blue jeans," a Southern-sounding narrator says (nevermind that Levi's and Lee started making jeans in the U.S. in the 1800s). "The jeans that built America. And they were built in America. Built at a time when things were timeless. ... A time when people worked for their dreams and their dreams worked for them."
Meanwhile, an attractively rugged man welds and drills things in the tundra, presumably having his dreams work for him.
"Americans built locomotives and put a man on the moon," the ad says. "Well, maybe you won't get your chance to go to the moon, but as an American you sure as heck still can shoot for it."
Apparently, by buying a pair of Beck's jeans. Drop $129.99 on a pair of his baby blues and try to get on up to that big 'ol rock.
Beck's 1791 collection isn't the only questionable celebrity product pairing:
quicklist: 1 title: David Hasshelhoff for Leanpockets text: He once baked on the beach, now he's getting cozy with a microwave. "Baywatch" star David Hasselhoff's latest role is playing Gunther "Mr. Lean" Hasselhoff, a German-accented man who touts the "hot delicious goodness" of Lean Pocket microwaveable sandwiches.
Wearing a face full of makeup and looking like Liberace's younger brother, Mr. Lean introduces himself as a lifestyle consultant. In the ad titled "Lean Pockets: A Fashion Intervention," Mr. Lean offers fashion advice for the office (hint -- wear more green) and seems to being giving fitness tips as he dances a jig with a young girl while chanting, "Do it, do it, do it."
Of course, everyone is encouraged to eat Lean Pockets. Inexplicably, the ad also features lots of cats, one in a litter box. It might seem a far fall from Hasselhoff's former gig on "Britain's Got Talent," but as Mr. Lean says in the ad, "Life is all about making the right choices." media: 16655631
quicklist: 2 category: title: Lissa Rinna for "Depends" url: text: In a commercial for Depends brand adult diapers, "Days of Our Lives" actress Lisa Rinna shows off her famous pout and posterior while posing on the red carpet in a form-fitting dress -- with Depend's new Silhouette for Women underneath.
"I am wearing an evening gown, for God's sake! And you can't tell I have it on. Check out the booty!" Rinna gushes, turning around. "It feels great -- and they're so soft."
Even her husband, Harry Hamlin, put the product to the "touch test," running a finger down her backside. "You can't even tell she's wearing it," he declares.
Rinna, 49, insists she has nothing to be ashamed of.
"I am a champion for positive self-image for women," she says in the ad. "The new Silhouette makes a woman feel confident, and it's fashionable."
Moreover, Rinna is endorsing the brand for a good cause: Depend maker Kimberly-Clark agreed to donate $225,000 to Dress for Success, a charity she supports.
"I don't endorse many products," Rinna, who said she does not personally wear adult diapers, told the Huffington Post. "When I was first asked, I was surprised. I'm not the first person you think of when you think of Depends. That's what I love about it. I believe women should feel good about themselves and if that means they need to talk about their problems, then absolutely. We need to help each other. I was not afraid to do this." media: 16125972
quicklist: 2 category: title: Kim Kardashian for TRIA hair-removal system url: text: Kim Kardashian has called herself a hairy Armenian, which is why she is standing by TRIA, a home laser hair-removal system she began endorsing in 2010. Last year, beauty company Radiant, which makes competing product No!No! Hair, sued TRIA and Kardashian for what it said are false claims by the reality star that TRIA works all over the body and yields permanent results. But, according to TMZ, Kardashian said in court documents that everything she has said about TRIA comes from her own experience. "Being Armenian and hairy, I thought [TRIA] was the perfect product," she said in the documents. media: 16125949
quicklist: 3 category: title: Wynonna Judd for Alli url: text: Wynonna Judd has long struggled with her weight, so it wasn't surprising when she signed on to rep weight-loss pill Alli in 2009. Unfortunately, the pill quickly became known for its "anal leakage" side effect. media: 16125393
quicklist: 4 category: title: Jamie Lee Curtis for Activia url: text: Jamie Lee Curtis has taken some ribbing since signing on as Activia's spokeswoman. Just check out former "SNL" star Kristen Wiig's side-splitting impression of Curtis proudly "pooping her pants" while filming an Activia commercial. Curtis appears in the real commercials for the Dannon yogurt, which claims to aid your digestive system and help you become more, ahem, regular. media: 16125871
quicklist: 5 category: title: Kirstie Alley for Poise url: text: Kirstie Alley is no stranger to product endorsements, but her latest assignment has her talking about "light bladder leakage" and "period pads" as well as donning a pair of wings as the so-called Poise fairy. Lurking in stranger's bathrooms, Alley offers Poise to women who experience "drizzle" while running on the treadmill or laughing at a joke because, she says, "Your period pads are for your period. Period." media: 16125383
quicklist: 6 category: title: Florence Henderson for Polident url: text: Florence Henderson has no problem flashing her Brady-perfect smile as the longtime spokeswoman for Polident, the best-selling denture cleanser. That's because her pearly whites are the real deal. "I have always loved to smile and I'm so grateful that I was born with good straight teeth," Henderson told Dear Doctor, an online magazine for dental health. media: 16125936