Jimmy Kimmel: If I Were the Sexiest ...

Nov. 15, 2007 — -- Move over, Matt Damon. Jimmy Kimmel has some thoughts about what he'd do if he were the Sexiest Man Alive.

Damon, who is the cover boy of People's Sexiest Man Alive issue (on stands Friday), might be a modest recipient of the title. "Who the hell wants to read an exposé about some guarded actor who didn't get the memo and keeps refusing to answer really basic questions?" Damon says, adding that the magazine might have a better issue with someone else on the cover.

But Kimmel, well, he tells People that he has some definite ideas of what he'd do with the title. Among them:

"I would call Brad Pitt (Sexiest Man Alive 1995, 2000) just to laugh at him, hang up and continue laughing like a maniac."

"I'd never wear a shirt. Not to the bank. Not to the mailbox."

"I'd make back hair the new fashion 'do.' "

"I would decoupage the walls of my house with thousands of my 'Sexiest' magazine covers."

"I'd charge people $4 to look at my face, $2 for seniors."

"I would call George Clooney (Sexiest Man Alive 1997, 2006) every day and ask, 'Hey George, I forgot, who is the Sexiest Man Alive again? Oh that's right, it's me.' "