A mother-to-be from California has sparked a Twitter debate after revealing that one of her baby shower guests has given her the relief of not having to write out personal "thank you" cards.
Laura Turner, 32, a San Francisco-based writer, told ABC News that two baby showers were thrown in her honor. During the party on April 14, her mother's friend, Amy Arnold, 52, announced that she and the group of 30 women should offer her the gift of no "thank you" notes.
"At first everyone was kind of stunned," said Turner, who is expecting her first child June 3. "Pretty quickly it turned from a sense of surprise, to a sense of excitement at this new and relieving idea."
At my baby shower yesterday, one woman said, before I started opening gifts, “Can we give you the gift of no thank-you notes?” And everyone gasped and I DIED and now I’m going to be that lady at every shower I go to.— Laura Turner (@lkoturner) April 15, 2018
Turner tweeted about the gesture on April 15. Her tweet received nearly 2,000 shares and was liked over 21,000 times.
"At my baby shower yesterday, one woman said, before I started opening gifts, 'Can we give you the gift of no thank-you notes?' And everyone gasped and I DIED and now I’m going to be that lady at every shower I go to," she wrote.
Yes! For me, this is a must for new moms. You have far more important things to do in the next year of your life! Please do not send a thank you note for any baby gift I ever give you.— Bethany HallFitelson (@bfitelson) April 15, 2018
While many users praised the idea, others disapproved.
One man tweeted, "As someone who normally LOVES hand-written thank yous (and also as the rare husband who helped with the baby-shower thank yous), I absolutely love this idea. Moms deal with enough."
Another wrote, "I don’t believe losing our grace is a gift. Writing thoughtful (not perfunctory) notes of gratitude is a gift both for the author and the recipient."
I was so excited by the one gift with a "no need for a thank you" note attached when Daughter was born that I phoned them straight away - they may have been the only people thanked in a timely manner.— Anne Pettigrew (@MrsNiddyNoddy) April 16, 2018
Arnold told ABC News she thought of her no "thank you" cards idea on a whim.
"There is so much pressure on new moms to sort of perform and meet everybody else's expectations," Arnold said. "I believe that everybody wanted to communicate to Laura that we were there for her and all we really wanted her to do is enjoy her pregnancy, spend time with her baby and not be writing 'thank you' notes."
I would still write the notes. People enjoy the personal thank you. It doesn't take a minute. #etiquiette— Renee S. Benge (@nawlins27) April 17, 2018
Turner said she appreciated the gesture, especially since she's had a tough pregnancy.
"While I like writing thank you notes, to remove the obligation felt like such a relief to me," she said.
As for her buzzed-about tweet, Turner said that many responses came from women who admitted feeling guilty when they're not able to send out hand-written "thank yous" in a timely manner.
"Life is really busy and hectic preparing to have a baby," Turner added. "To feel the guilt piled up because people haven't received the thank you notes, it weighs on people. And so, the gift Amy gave was the gift of no shame or guilt moving forward and that's pretty huge."
Turner said she won't be fully giving up the practice of sending "thank you" cards.