Survivor Recalls Alleged Incest in Book

May 21, 2006 — -- Sexual abuse against children can be life-changing, terrifying and humiliating -- especially if the abuser is a family member.

Erin Merryn is a 21-year-old college sophomore who wrote a book, "Stolen Innocence: Memoir," about her struggles after she claims she was molested by her first cousin. ABC News agreed to use her pen name and a false name for the man she says abused her.

"It's something that is going to be with me the rest of my life," Erin said. "So I decided to turn it into something positive, instead of negative."

Erin was back at her old high school in the Chicago suburbs the other day to give a speech about her story and how she finally found the courage to move on.

Erin's said she had a happy childhood, "playing with dolls, lemonade stands, you know, going to water parks."

Erin was raised with cousins living nearby. She had a big family that celebrated holidays together and saw each other all the time.

One night when she was just 11, everything changed.

"I had gone to bed before everyone else, and woke up at about two or three in the morning to my older teenage cousin sexually abusing me," she said.

The book is a collection of Erin's diary entries from when she said she was experiencing the abuse and struggling to deal with the aftermath.

"I felt something moving around in my pants," she read from the book. "I realized it was my cousin Brian's hands moving all around. I panicked."

Erin said she didn't tell because she was too scared that no one would believe her. She thought it would never happen again -- but said it did, more than a dozen times over two years.

"He pushed me on the bean-bag chair and held me down," she read from her book. "He hurts me and I can't scream. He tells me no one will believe me."

When Erin looks at photos of herself as a 12-year-old, she sees a young girl masking her fear.