GMA:Intimacy After Divorce

Oct. 23 -- After a divorce, the thought of dating again and having a sexual relationship with someone new can be scary and difficult.

For some people, it’s like being in high school, starting all over again. But while you may be swept away by a new romance, there are some down-to-earth issues to grapple with.

How do you introduce your children to a new man? And how do you deal with the issue of safe sex, when both you and the person you are seeing have just gotten out of a marriage?

Dr. Laura Berman spoke to Good Morning America about this issue, pointing out, for example that the rules may have changed since some people’s last dating experience.

For instance, those who married in their early 20s, and are now in their late 30s and early 40s, did not become sexual in the AIDS era, so they may have some new skills and vocabulary to learn.

“Sex is a risk...it is important to feel safe with that person, to feel a degree of intimacy, ” Berman said. If there is any doubt, don’t do it, she said.

Emotional Roller Coaster

Experts say that the prospect of new sexual relationships bring emotions related to your break-up to the forefront. Unresolved hurt or anger can affect your sexuality and your ability to get involved in a fulfilling relationship.

If you are not far enough along in the healing process, post-divorce sex can make you feel worse. On the other hand, if you are further along on the healing curve, it can be a loving and satisfying experience. Generally, therapists say it takes about one to two years to heal after a divorce, and to be ready for a relationship again.

Some women avoid sexual contact since rejection has a negative impact on their self-image. If they have been dumped by their spouse, there can be feelings of low self-esteem, or personal failure and abandonment. This can impact how you feel about your sexual attractiveness, and the way you interact with people of the opposite sex.