February 13, 2009 -- Question: When is pornography unhealthy in a relationship?
Answer: There are lots of times when couples can actually enjoy pornography, or erotica, in a relationship. It can jumpstart things if you're tired and it can turn people on faster when you don't have as much time as you would like. But you have to know ahead of time whether both people like the same thing. This is a lot like trying to buy perfume for someone. So if you've ever made that disastrous mistake, you know that something that you think smells delicious, someone else thinks smells horrible.
So you have to find some erotica or pornography that you both like. And if you do that, you can enjoy it together and it's often a lot of fun and very healthy. You can get into trouble if one person is using a lot of pornography secretly and it's draining all the energy out of the sexual relationship and they're not being sexual with the other person, especially if they're trying to stop and they're not able to.
Have more questions on sex, love, relationships or other wellness topics? Visit the ABCNews.com OnCall+ Wellness Center to get your answers.