FUNNIES: CIA Searches for PlayStation3

Nov. 26, 2006 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

Jay Leno: Today the big story: The CIA announced they have given up trying to find Osama bin Laden. Their now more important task, trying to find a PlayStation 3. I believe that's the new…

David Letterman: Every year President Bush gets to pardon one turkey, and this year it was Donald Rumsfeld.

Leno: Did you hear what happened in Argentina? First daughter Barbara Bush had her purse stolen. Did you hear about this? Yeah, she's eating in a restaurant, somebody snatches her purse. You know the sad part? You know what was in that purse? Her father's plan for Iraq. Now we have to start all over again.

Conan O'Brien: Sen. John Kerry in the news. Sen. John Kerry says he's thinking about running for president in 2008. Yeah. In other words, Kerry is still telling bad jokes.

Leno: And what else? Oh, Henry Kissinger. Henry Kissinger says the war in Iraq is unwinnable. And believe me, if there's anybody who knows how not to win a war, it's Henry Kissinger, ladies and gentleman.

Letterman: Now, ladies and gentleman, it's time for a little something we call "great moments in presidential speeches," "great moments in presidential speeches." Take it away.
FDR: That the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.
JFK: Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.
President Bush: I, I, I'd like to stay here all day, but I gotta, I gotta go to Vegas.