Funnies: New Year Laughs

Jan. 4, 2009 — -- Here's a roundup of the late-night comics.

Jay Leno: The bad news for the Gov. Blagojevich is that there's no chance President Bush will pardon him because Bush can't even pronounce his name.

Leno: Barack Obama said that he will not smoke cigarettes while he's in the Oval Office. He's kind of a closet smoker. So, he said he wouldn't smoke. And President Bush actually defended him today. President Bush said he smokes a cigar on rare occasions. He says it helps him think.

David Letterman: Last night -- and I hate talking about people when they're not here, but the audience we had last night -- rough crowd. Honest to god, halfway through the show, they tried to sell their seats.

Conan O'Brien: Barack Obama says he plans on having a lot of jazz and classical music at the White House. Yeah. Cool, very cool. Yeah. After hearing this, President Bush said, I'd better go break the bad news to the wiggles.

Craig Ferguson: People want to create a national holiday in honor of Barack Obama. I'm thinking isn't it a little soon? Even Jesus had to do some stuff before he got his own holiday.