This Week's Best Quotes: 'Can't Miss Him, He's Naked!'

June 2, 2012 — -- intro: Check out this week's funniest, craziest and buzziest quotes from around the world.

quicklist: 1title: 'Can't miss him, he's naked!'text: "Can't miss him, he's naked!" said one of three people who called 911 to report a brutal face-eating attack in Maimi.

"He's beating another man. It's a naked man beating another man," another caller said.

Rudy Eugene, who authorities suspect may have been high on a dangerous new street drug known as "bath salts," had to be shot four times by a police officer to halt the cannibalistic attack.

The victim, Ronald Poppo, 65, is in critical condition after police say 75 percent of his face was devoured by Eugene.

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quicklist: 2title: 'Gimme, Gimme, Gimme'text: The standard greeting card with a check inside just doesn't cut it anymore for some high school graduates. So they're setting up gift registries instead, the latest twist on traditional bridal or baby shower offerings that some say is at odds with traditional gift-giving etiquette.

"When I hear people are creating registries for high school graduation, I hear 'Gimme, gimme, gimme,' as opposed to congratulations," Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and co-author of the 18th edition of "Emily Post's Etiquette." "They are absolutely not appropriate."

Post says gift registries are intended only for weddings and baby showers.

"A high school graduation party doesn't necessitate a gift. At most, I'd say it necessitates a card," she said.

And if there is no party, Post says creating your own registry and sending it around to relatives and friends is "absolutely, incredibly selfish and greedy."

If you would like to congratulate the new grad in your life with a gift, Post suggests tokens from the college town or university to which the student is moving, gift cards, or asking the child's parents for ideas.

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quicklist: 3title: 'Trying to Find Validation in Poker Is Like Trying to Find a Virgin in a Whorehouse'text: Like moths to a green flame, poker-playing celebrities are flocking to Las Vegas to compete in the 43rd annual World Series of Poker (WSOP), hoping not just to snag their share of poker's richest pot ($192 million last year) but one of 61 gold-and-diamond-encrusted bracelets, which are to poker what Super Bowl rings are to football: proof a player ranks among the game's best.

Bracelet-winning actress Jennifer Tilly is competing for her second bracelet this year.

"[The World Series of Poker Main Event is] the grand-daddy of all games in the world -- fantastic, like the Kentucky Derby. A spectacle. 7,000 people. Hot girls in cut-off shirts. All you need is cotton candy to make it complete," Tilly said.

So deep into the game is Tilly that she dates a professional player and writes a monthly column for Bluff magazine, where in 2008 she announced -- prematurely -- her retirement from the game: "Greatness in poker is an elusive dream. There are too many variants. Trying to find validation in poker is like trying to find a virgin in a whorehouse."

She has since resumed play and says she intends to arrive in Vegas June 18 and to play her first event the next day.

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