'Curly Sue' Star Alisan Porter: 'I’m An Alcoholic'
"I was miserable and overwhelmed with life," she says of her past.
— -- "Curly Sue" Star Alisan Porter got right to the point in her Lil' Mamas blog, when she wrote: "Hi, I’m Ali, and I’m an alcoholic."
"Yup, bet you didn’t see that one coming. Or, because you know that I’m a former child star, you totally did. Anyway, it’s the truth. I’ve been sober since Oct 28th, 2007 and I haven’t touched a drink or a drug since," she added.
Porter, 33, starred in the 1991 hit, alongside James Belushi and her iconic curls and baby face, made this a surprising revelation.
Read: 'Growing Pains' Star Reveals Past Battle With Alcoholism
Porter admits things never got terrible to where she did hard drugs, but that "it was enough for me to know that enough was enough."
"They can never understand that it’s not even really about a drink or a drug," she continued. "In fact, it’s really not about substance at all. It’s about how you see people, how you treat yourself, how you feel about things, how you think people feel about you, what you could do, should do but don’t do. Your resentments, your lack of respect, your lack of power."
She described how she finally got help.
"I was living in NYC when I realized I needed to get sober. I was miserable and overwhelmed with life. I was heartbroken and realizing that what had always worked for me in the past was NOT working at all. Not even a little bit. I felt trapped, scared, and sad and I was ready to really go for broke or get better," she wrote. "So, I did what every good user does and I prayed to a god I had never believed in… and then called my mom. Days later I was off to treatment, just like that. For the next four years I went to meetings, worked the steps, got a sponsor, found a god of my own understanding, prayed, meditated and basically grew up."
When she was finally able to be happy, Porter met and married Brian Autenrieth in 2012. Now, the couple has two children.
"I got married, I had kids, I got a new house, I re-did the floors (I love my floors), I got a car that my dad didn’t pay for, I got a life (that my dad didn’t pay for). I became a better friend, a better daughter, a better artist, better sister… I just got better," she added.
Porter said that after things got "hectic," she started wanting to drink again.
"So here I was fantasizing about my wine relapse. My 7:30PM post-putting-kids-to-bed, ONE drink. The warm fuzzy, heat in my chest, loose gaze in my eyes and yummy taste in my mouth. I would put on a lace nightgown, dance around with my husband, do The Sex and then wake up like sunshine on a dollar bill the next morning. Right?" she added. "THEN I REMEMBERED..."
She sobered up, saying, "My kids lose their mother and, worse, I lose them. I don’t drink because I can’t. I want to, a lot of days, because I’m human and because life gets hard. But I don’t ... I wont get to go wine tasting in Napa. I won’t get to eat a marijuana olive oil infused stir-fry or trip balls at Coachella. I’ve lost that privilege in this lifetime. But every day that I wake up to my kids clear as a bell and ready to take on another day in this new skin, I am grateful."