Jennifer Lopez Is Still Wondering Why She's Not OK Being Alone

March 11, 2014 -- At 44, Jennifer Lopez has developed a new attitude about dating.

She's also not making any apologies for her inability to stay single for long.

"Look, I don't love being alone. I don't. I can't beat myself up for that," she told InStyle magazine for its April issue. "What I have to do is figure out why I don't like it. Why am I not OK being alone? And can I ever be OK facing that?"

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Lopez, who has been dating Casper Smart since October 2011, added that she has also changed her attitude about what makes a successful relationship. After three divorces, most recently from the father of her two children, Marc Anthony, she's come to realize that "there are so many different kinds of happiness, not just the one you learned about when you were 5 years old."

"In the past, love for me has always meant forever, and sure, you still nurse some of those fantasies, but I don't try to force it anymore," she explained. "I hung on to my fairytale ideals for a long time. But where I am now, what I've been through, there are no rules. There are just lots of ways it can turn out."

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In this new chapter, Lopez, who is preparing to release her 10th studio album, is happy with her age and the roles that older women in Hollywood are assuming.

"The turning point was a couple years ago, when the September issue of women's magazines had cover girls that were all over 40 – Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, me. It was hard not to be happy," she said. "That says something about our society. People who used to believe their life – or at least their life as a performer – was over at 28 or some ungodly age! God, when I think of myself back then, I had no idea who I was. I think I'm barely getting that under control now."