Should Sandra Bullock Stay or Go?

March 24, 2010— -- As new details continue to filter out about Jesse James' reported mistress, Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, the question now is what will Sandra Bullock do?

Since leaving the California home she shared with James and canceling her appearance at the European premiere of "The Blind Side," Bullock has been staying out of sight, most likely at her secluded compound near Austin, Texas. Divorce, for now, is not imminent. Her rep told ABCNews.com that reports Bullock was interviewing divorce lawyers are "completely false."

Word of Bullock's marital problems surfaced just days after her greatest professional triumph -- the Oscar for best actress for her role in "The Blind Side." Many Americans may not even have known before then that she was married to James. Now they have been inundated with stories of the couple's problems.

Over the weekend, photographs surfaced of McGee wearing a Nazi hat and swastika armband.

But Rob Shuter, who writes the Naughty but Nice column for Popeater.com, says he thinks the public humiliation doesn't bother Bullock as much as the private heartbreak.

"She has a strong moral compass of right and wrong," Shuter said. "She left the business for a while because she wasn't getting great roles. This isn't a woman who just floats through life. She decides."

"Sandra has never played the little wife," Shuter said. "In all her relationships, she was always in the driver's seat. She has her own career. She's a much bigger star than Jesse. She has enough money that she can leave this marriage."

Bullock may have to pay up in the end. Shuter said there are conflicting reports about whether she had a prenup that would have protected her reported $100 million fortune. Last year, Bullock was named No. 6 on Forbes' list of the highest paid actresses.

More than money, though, Bullock stands to lose contact with her 6-year-old stepdaughter Sunny, James daughter with his second wife, porn star Janine Lindemulder. James won custody of Sunny in December after a bitter months-long dispute.

Can Bullock Leave Stepdaughter?

But Bullock never adopted Sunny and has no legal rights to the child. "Sandra Bullock is not a party to this litigation," James' attorney, Marilyn Slifman, said in a statement to People magazine in November.

Slifman declined to comment to ABCNews.com for this story.

Bullock, however, curtailed her career to help raise Sunny and even wrote a letter to the judge during the custody battle.

"I know the term 'stepmother' carries many connotations, one of them being 'glorified babysitter,'" Bullock wrote. "My commitment and responsibility to Sunny ... goes beyond that."

"She took on this girl as if she were her own daughter," Shuter said. "The girl has been flourishing. That is now in shatters."

Lindemulder could also try to use James' personal troubles against him in the next custody hearing in June.

"Without a doubt, it's going to benefit the case," Lindemulder's husband, Jeremy Aikman, told ABCNews.com. "That just goes to show the guy's morals. I mean, what is he teaching his daughter?"

Aikman is a convicted felon, while Lindemulder went to prison for tax evasion. James sought custody of Sunny in part because he found the duo unfit to parent.

Despite Bullock's close connection to her stepdaughter, talk show host Wendy Williams encouraged the actress to leave her marriage. "Run, run, run," Williams said on her show Monday.

But fellow Oscar winner Mo'Nique took a more measured approach, telling "Entertainment Tonight" she was praying for Bullock -- and her husband.

"I don't wish her nothing but happiness, along with her husband. ... I don't want to see any marriages dissolve or break up," said the comedian. "I hope ya'll make it work."

Perhaps Bullock can check out other famous wives to see whether they chose to stay or go. ABCNews.com rounded up a few of them:

Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods:

Nordegren has not completely bolted in the face of her husband's sex scandal, which includes allegations of affairs with nearly a dozen women.

Jury Still Out on Tiger's Marriage

Shuter said he is not surprised. "Elin's fortune is really through Tiger," he said. "Her lifestyle is through Tiger."

Woods told ESPN that his wife and mother-in-law have been "very tough" on him following his admission of infidelity. Elin was "hurt, shocked, angry" about his indiscretions," he said. "And she had every right to be."

Divorce seemed certain just three months ago, but then came reports that the couple had reconciled and even spent several nights under the same roof in their Florida compound. By Monday, things had gone downhill again: new reports surfaced that Nordegren was heading back to Sweden and planned to be out of the country when Woods played the Masters.

The jury is still out on this marriage.

Tea Leoni and David Duchovny

In August 2008, Duchovny, the "Californication" star, admitted he had a sex addiction and entered rehab.

The couple, married since 1997 with two children, announced shortly after that they had been separated for several months. Leoni was linked with Billy Bob Thornton, her co-star in the film "Manure."

But by December of that year, Leoni and Duchovny had quietly decided to make another go of their marriage. They stepped back from their Hollywood lives, relocating from Los Angeles to New York, and took a summer caravan trip across the states with their children. At the Toronto film festival last September, Duchovny said, "Everything is great. Tea is a great partner, wife, and mother."

Last December, the couple made their first red carpet appearance together at the UNICEF snowflake ball. It was a long road back to reconciliation, but Duchovny and Leoni proved it's possible.

Halle Berry and Eric Benet

Berry initially stood by her man following tabloid reports that he had several affairs. He sought therapy for sex addiction while she worked hard to make her second marriage work.

Halle Berry Goes, Vaness Bryant Stays

But after Benet had another relapse, Berry finally called it quits, filing for divorce just months after winning her best actress Oscar.

The following month, Berry made headlines again when she said on "Oprah" that she would "never, never" marry again. Berry has a daughter Nahla with model boyfriend Gabriel Aubry.

Vanessa and Kobe Bryant

After he was accused of raping a 19-year-old woman in the summer of 2003, NBA superstar Kobe Bryant admitted that he committed adultery with the woman but insisted the sex was consensual.

At a press conference, in which his wife Vanessa famously sat beside him, he said, "I'm innocent. I sit here in front of you guys furious at myself, disgusted at myself for making a mistake of adultery."

Bryant was found not guilty and his wife stayed. Her loyalty was rewarded with an eight-carat diamond ring reportedly worth $4 million.

Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook

Though Brinkley was a former supermodel, that didn't stop her fourth husband, Peter Cook, from having an affair with his 19-year-old assistant.

Brinkley didn't bother to stick around. Their 2008 divorce trial filled the tabloids with tales of Cook's other flings and his love for online porn.

In the end, Brinkley settled the case by paying $2.1 million to Cook, a high-powered architect. But the two continued to battle bitterly over custody of their two children.