Britney Spears speaks out for 1st time since bombshell testimony

Britney Spears apologized to her Instagram followers on Thursday for not being more transparent about the circumstances of her life.

The pop star, who on Wednesday pleaded with a judge to end her long-standing conservatorship, explained that she uses the social media platform as an escape from her reality.

Spears added that "because of my pride," she's been too uncomfortable showing what her lifestyle is really like.

"I don't want people to think my life is perfect because IT'S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL," she wrote. "I was embarrassed to share what happened to me ... but honestly who doesn't want to capture there (sic) Instagram in a fun light !!!! Believe it or not pretending that I'm ok has actually helped."

Spears, 39, has not been in control of her personal or financial affairs since 2008, when a judge put the conservatorship in place. At the time, Spears had been displaying increasingly erratic behavior and was hospitalized twice.

On Wednesday, the pop star broke her silence about the arrangement, telling California Superior Court Judge Brenda J. Penny that due to the conservatorship, she has been forced to attend treatment programs against her will, made to work, and has not been permitted to get married or have a baby.

"I am traumatized. I'm not happy. I can't sleep. I'm so angry it's insane. And I'm depressed. I cry every day," she said. "I just want my life back."

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Currently, Spears' father, Jamie Spears, acts as a co-conservator of his daughter's estate, along with financial group Bessemer Trust, which was appointed by Penny last year. Previously, Jamie Spears also acted as the singer's personal conservator, giving him the power to make decisions about her medical care, though he left that position in 2019.

Spears has not yet petitioned the court to end the conservatorship, though she said on Wednesday that she hadn't known she could.

Her court-appointed lawyer, Samuel D. Ingham III, said, "If my client directs me to file a petition to terminate [the conservatorship], I'm happy to do that."