Taylor Swift shares 30 things she learned before turning 30
"Trying and failing and trying again and failing again is normal," she says.
Taylor Swift has a big birthday coming up. She's turning 30 this year!
The 10-time Grammy award-winning pop singer recently shared her thoughts on approaching the special age, along with 30 things she's learned before the milestone, with Elle.
"According to my birth certificate, I turn 30 this year," she wrote for the magazine. "It's weird because part of me still feels 18 and part of me feels 283, but the actual age I currently am is 29."
"I've heard people say that your thirties are 'the most fun!'" So I'll definitely keep you posted on my findings on that when I know," she added. "But until then, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned before reaching 30, because it's 2019 and sharing is caring."
The lessons she shares touch on important topics like mental health, accepting failure in life and believing victims of sexual assault, among others. Here are some of the highlights:
Swift on social media
She says that turning off the comments on her social media posts helped her "block some of the noise."
"Social media can be great, but it can also inundate your brain with images of what you aren't, how you're failing, or who is in a cooler locale than you at any given moment," she wrote.
"I'm showing my friends and fans updates on my life, but I'm training my brain to not need the validation of someone telling me I look [fire emojis]," she added.
Swift on embracing failure
With her massive success, Swift has realized just how important failure also is.
"Trying and failing and trying again and failing again is normal," she wrote. "It may not feel normal to me because all of my trials and failures are blown out of proportion and turned into a spectator sport by tabloid takedown culture (you had to give me one moment of bitterness, come on)."
"It's good to mess up and learn from it and take risks," she shared. "It's especially good to do this in your twenties because we are searching."
Swift on embracing body positivity and aging
Swift also touches on her feelings about body image and how far she's come in her journey to accepting her body.
"I learned to stop hating every ounce of fat on my body," she wrote. "I worked hard to retrain my brain that a little extra weight means curves, shinier hair, and more energy."
I work on accepting my body every day.
"I think a lot of us push the boundaries of dieting, but taking it too far can be really dangerous," she added. "There is no quick fix. I work on accepting my body every day."
She also explains her thoughts on the stigma attached to aging.
"Society is constantly sending very loud messages to women that exhibiting the physical signs of aging is the worst thing that can happen to us," she wrote. "These messages tell women that we aren't allowed to age. It's an impossible standard to meet."
Swift says fellow body positivity advocate "The Good Place" star Jameela Jamil has inspired her with her openness on the topic.
"Reading her words feels like hearing a voice of reason amongst all these loud messages out there telling women we're supposed to defy gravity, time, and everything natural in order to achieve this bizarre goal of everlasting youth that isn't even remotely required of men," Swift wrote.
Swift on believing sexual assault victims
Swift, who won a sexual assault lawsuit against former radio host David Mueller in 2017, shared her opinions on the important subject.
I believe victims because I know firsthand about the shame and stigma that comes with raising your hand and saying 'This happened to me.' It's something no one would choose for themselves.
"It's my opinion that in cases of sexual assault, I believe the victim," she wrote.
"Coming forward is an agonizing thing to go through," she continued. "I know because my sexual assault trial was a demoralizing, awful experience."
"I believe victims because I know firsthand about the shame and stigma that comes with raising your hand and saying 'This happened to me.' It's something no one would choose for themselves. We speak up because we have to, and out of fear that it could happen to someone else if we don't," she wrote.
Swift on getting involved politically
The singer, who publicly endorsed a Democratic candidate for Tennessee Senate before the midterm elections and encouraged her fanbase to vote, reflected on choosing to speak out about her opinions.
"I took a lot of time educating myself on the political system and the branches of government that are signing off on bills that affect our day-to-day life," she wrote. "I saw so many issues that put our most vulnerable citizens at risk, and felt like I had to speak up to try and help make a change."
She also shared that she's going to continue being vocal in this sphere.
"Invoking racism and provoking fear through thinly veiled messaging is not what I want from our leaders, and I realized that it actually is my responsibility to use my influence against that disgusting rhetoric. I'm going to do more to help," she wrote.
"We have a big race coming up next year," she added.
Swift on overcoming bullies
She made a not-so-subtle reference to her 2016 feud with Kim Kardashian, in which the reality star called her a snake.
"A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet," she wrote.
"The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I've ever felt in my life, but I can't tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans," she continued.
"It's the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll's hateful Instagram comment with 'lol.' It would be nice if we could get an apology from people who bully us, but maybe all I'll ever get is the satisfaction of knowing I could survive it, and thrive in spite of it," she added.
Swift on love and relationships
She cautioned readers on the importance of not being entirely swayed by first impressions.
"It's impressive when someone can charm people instantly and own the room, but what I know now to be more valuable about a person is not their charming routine upon meeting them (I call it a 'solid first 15'), but the layers of a person you discover in time," she wrote.
She also said she's learned to stop caring how others view her relationships.
"For too long, the projected opinions of strangers affected how I viewed my relationships," she wrote. "Whether it was the general internet consensus of who would be right for me, or what they thought was 'couples goals' based on a picture I posted on Instagram. That stuff isn't real."
"For an approval seeker like me, it was an important lesson for me to learn to have my OWN value system of what I actually want," she added.
Swift on prioritizing her and her fans safety
She said that the 2017 Manchester Arena bombing at an Ariana Grande concert and the 2017 Las Vegas concert shooting at a country music festival made her reevaluate performing.
You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things
"I was completely terrified to go on tour this time because I didn't know how we were going to keep 3 million fans safe over seven months," she wrote. "There was a tremendous amount of planning, expense, and effort put into keeping my fans safe."
Outside of the touring space, she also carries QuikClot army grade bandage dressing, which she writes is used for gunshot or stab wounds.
"Websites and tabloids have taken it upon themselves to post every home address I've ever had online," she added. "You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things."
To check out the rest of Swift's learned lessons, visit Elle.
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