Check out this week's buzziest, funniest and craziest quotes from around the world.
|'It Takes a Lot of Patience to be the President of the United States, and I'm Not That Patient'|
President Obama and the first lady appeared for the first time together on ABC's "The View."
The president suggested that after he leaves office, whether it's next year or in 2016, that his wife would make a great politician.
"She should run for office, but she says she doesn't want to," the president said.
"Yeah, no," the first lady said to laughter.
"I mean, Michelle would be terrific," the president said. "But temperamentally I just don't think..."
"No, it's absolutely true," Michelle Obama continued. "It takes a lot of patience to be the president of the United States, and I'm not that patient."'
The first lady said she enjoyed being able to hand-pick projects she's passionate about, and would continue focusing on helping veterans returning from war and their families in the coming years.
|'At Any Rate, a Fake'|
It made quite a stir when it came out -- a fragment of fourth-century papyrus with wording on it, in ancient Coptic, that read, "Jesus said to them, 'My wife….'" The next line said, "…she will be able to be my disciple…."
That was all. Karen L. King of Harvard Divinity School said she had the papyrus examined and concluded that while it wasn't proof Jesus had been married, the fragment was probably not a forgery.
The Vatican, though, has now weighed in, and it's not impressed. "At any rate, a fake" was the title of an editorial in L'Osservatore Romano, the Vatican newspaper.
|'When I Close My Eyes, I'll Be With the Father'|
Texas executed its ninth prisoner of 2012 Tuesday after death row inmate Cleve Foster, 48, failed to obtain a last-minute stay from the U.S. Supreme Court.
Foster was convicted in 2002 of helping his roommate, Sheldon Ward, kill a Fort Worth, Texas, woman and hide her body in the woods. Ward, however, wrote a death-bed note before he died in prison saying that he'd acted alone, and Foster had nothing to do with the murder.
Foster has maintained his innocence, but didn't mention that as he was executed. Instead, according to The Associated Press, he expressed love for his family and God before the drugs took effect, he began snoring and then he stopped breathing.
"When I close my eyes, I'll be with the father," he said. "God is everything. He's my life. Tonight I'll be with him."
|'Winning an Ig Nobel Has Been My Dream as a Mad Scientist'|
It is a big deal to win a Nobel Prize. It is less of a deal to win an Ig Nobel Prize -- but it's usually a lot funnier.
This year's Ig Nobel Prizes were given out with great ceremony (read: loud cackles) by the journal Annals of Improbable Research Thursday night at Harvard University. They're not necessarily for the least important research, or for work that was badly done, just for, well, the silliest-sounding.
Among the winners were two Japanese engineers who took home the acoustics prize "for creating the SpeechJammer -- a machine that disrupts a person's speech, by making them hear their own spoken words at a very slight delay.
"Winning an Ig Nobel has been my dream as a mad scientist," said Kazutaka Kurihara, the co-inventor of the SpeechJammer.
|'She Never Let Anyone Go to the Doctor With Her'|
A New Jersey mom allegedly faked terminal cancer and profited through fundraisers, an ebook about her struggle and rallied supporters to pay for her wedding as a dying wish. Her sister discovered and exposed the alleged fraud.
Lori Stilley, 40, was arrested on Wednesday in Delran, N.J., and charged with theft by deception. She has been released on a $25,000 bail.
Stilley allegedly told her family and friends in February 2011 that she had been diagnosed with Stage III bladder cancer and would be undergoing radiation and chemotherapy, according to the Burlington County Prosecutor's Office.
She posted frequently about her struggle on Facebook and on her own website, but was guarded about her supposed treatment, refusing to let loved ones join her for doctor appointments or treatment.
"She never let anyone go to the doctor with her. She had said that she just wanted to do this alone," Stilley's sister Lisa DiGiovanni told ABCNews.com. "I had really never pressed her, but thinking back, I wish I did."
|'This Is a Great Day for the Art World'|
Police have recovered all of the more than a dozen pieces of art that were stolen from investment manager Jeffrey Gundlach in Santa Monica, Calif., last week.
Gundlach, a victim of one of the largest home heists that ever took place in Santa Monica, had announced on Monday a reward of $1.7 million for the return of his stolen art undamaged. While that art has been recovered, there is still an unspecified award for his other stolen belongings.
"This is a great day for the art world and all those who seek order and justice in our society. I would also like to thank the many well wishers who offered support and whose optimism over the last two weeks proved accurate," Gundlach said.
|'To Actually See the Crime Happen, It's Almost Like We're All Witnesses'|
Four teenage girls caught on videotape laughingly beating a defenseless woman were remorseless and defiant even as they were about to be arraigned on criminal charges in a Philadelphia court, police said on Friday.
The girls videotaped the beating and posted it on Facebook. Someone who saw the video called the cops.
Four of the six teens involved have been arrested and they are aged 16 and 17, according to the Chester Police Department. Authorities are searching for the other two girls.
"It's a group of girls on a corner chatting, rapping, goofing around," Chester Police Det. James Nolan told ABCNews.com.. "Then they decide, from the audio, you hear them say they're going to 'f**k this b***h up.' They plot the thing as they walk up."
Nolan said that for the community and even for veteran law enforcement officials, the assault has hit a nerve.
"You can see it. Things like this happen, but we usually get the end result," he said. "To actually see it go on, that's what's got everyone's attention. To actually see the crime happen, it's almost like we're all witnesses, which is something we don't often have."