-- "Curly Sue" Star Alisan Porter got right to the point in her Lil' Mamas blog, when she wrote: "Hi, I’m Ali, and I’m an alcoholic."
Porter admits things never got terrible to where she did hard drugs, but that "it was enough for me to know that enough was enough."
"They can never understand that it’s not even really about a drink or a drug," she continued. "In fact, it’s really not about substance at all. It’s about how you see people, how you treat yourself, how you feel about things, how you think people feel about you, what you could do, should do but don’t do. Your resentments, your lack of respect, your lack of power."
She described how she finally got help.
"I was living in NYC when I realized I needed to get sober. I was miserable and overwhelmed with life. I was heartbroken and realizing that what had always worked for me in the past was NOT working at all. Not even a little bit. I felt trapped, scared, and sad and I was ready to really go for broke or get better," she wrote. "So, I did what every good user does and I prayed to a god I had never believed in… and then called my mom. Days later I was off to treatment, just like that. For the next four years I went to meetings, worked the steps, got a sponsor, found a god of my own understanding, prayed, meditated and basically grew up."
When she was finally able to be happy, Porter met and married Brian Autenrieth in 2012. Now, the couple has two children.
"I got married, I had kids, I got a new house, I re-did the floors (I love my floors), I got a car that my dad didn’t pay for, I got a life (that my dad didn’t pay for). I became a better friend, a better daughter, a better artist, better sister… I just got better," she added.
Porter said that after things got "hectic," she started wanting to drink again.
"So here I was fantasizing about my wine relapse. My 7:30PM post-putting-kids-to-bed, ONE drink. The warm fuzzy, heat in my chest, loose gaze in my eyes and yummy taste in my mouth. I would put on a lace nightgown, dance around with my husband, do The Sex and then wake up like sunshine on a dollar bill the next morning. Right?" she added. "THEN I REMEMBERED..."