"Saturday Night Live" opened with a visit to Chino Correctional Facility on this week's show. And while the first three inmates discussed who had the craziest crime, they soon got a visit from three celebrities in lock-up.
"You think that's insane? I paid 500 grand to get my kid into USC," Loughlin said.
"You paid 500 grand for USC?" an inmate asked.
"That's not including the 300 grand I paid in tuition," she responded.
Everyone agreed she was much crazier than Thompson's murderer.
Once they realized she was "Aunt Becky," she pulled a shiv on them and declared she was now known as "Brother Becky" and had joined the Muslim Brotherhood in prison.
"You think prison is hard?" she said. "I've done 68 Hallmark movies, I know hell."
"Bitch I'm accused of crimes you can't even conceive of," he said. "I'm so shady a porn star said she needed to distance herself from me."
And finally, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange showed up -- straight from the Ecuadorian Embassy, apparently -- played by Oscar-nominee Michael Keaton.
Kyle Mooney was not afraid of Assange, until he snapped and "boom, all your ding-dong pic just went on the internet."
"I know everything, baby," Assange said.
"But my password is numbers and letters," Mooney's inmate responded.
"I'm an actual James Bond villain and I'm one step away from destroying the goddamn moon," Keaton's Assange cackled.