Canadian Father Blasted for Liking One Son More Than the Other
A daddy blogger is facing a backlash for publicly acknowledging that he likes his older son more than the younger one.
Buzz Bishop, a Canadian radio host who writes as "Dadcamp" on the website Babble, wrote a Sept. 18 post detailing how he and his now-wife met. She got pregnant within two months after they started dating.
He went on to describe how he divorced his estranged wife and married his girlfriend three years after the birth of their first son, Zacharie.
But then he wrote the line that many have found objectionable. As he continues to reflect upon how much his life has changed since his re-marriage and the birth of his two sons, he writes: "If I were to be absolutely honest, my older son is my favorite of the two. He and I are adventurous partners in crime, and I can't imagine life without him. He was an accident waiting to happen, and I'm so glad it did."
In a follow-up post, Bishop mentions that he has been getting feedback for having acknowledged having a favorite child.
The post, titled "Admit It. You Have a Favorite Kid. I Do," Dadcamp writes Sept. 19: "Yes, I have a favorite son and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm guessing you could look deep in the mirror and admit you have a favorite too. My choosing Zacharie as my favorite is not about 'playing favorites,' or 'preferential treatment' when I'm parenting. I don't let Zacharie get away with anything because he's my first pick, I just .. y'know .. like him better."
Bishop told " Good Morning America," "For me to take that language and call him my favorite, he's just the one I relate to easier. If that means he's my favorite and that's the language, I don't think that's too evil."
Bishop wrote on his blog that he prefers his older son, 5-year-old Zacharie, to 2-year-old Charlie, because Zacharie "can do more things. To me, he's more fun. I don't love either of my sons any more than the other, but I do like them differently. I'd be willing to bet you're the same."
(Parenting website Babble is owned by the Disney Co., as is ABC News.)
Readers of his blog were quick to register their reaction. Most were overwhelmingly critical of his statements, which he continued to defend to posters in the days after publication of the post.
"You really don't care that your kids could find this one day? I cannot imagine seeing something like this written by my mom or dad. No matter how secure you are in your parents' love as an adult, to read that I wasn't the favorite would be a crushing blow. In fact, reading that I WAS the favorite would be crushing as well because I would feel so awful for my sibling. WHY must you put this on the Internet?" one commenter asked.
Another wrote: "It's very hurtful to say you have a fav. child. I hope when they can both do things which you deem meaningful, you will fav. them both. p.s. I think Dad's who don't fall in love with their kids until they can "do stuff" suck. That's just another way to get out of diaper duty imho."
"Jesus H. dude. Keep it to yourself. Someday your little one will be incredibly hurt by this," a third stated.
Others came to Bishop's defense, however.
"I commend you for being so honest and I can relate," another commenter wrote. "I have 3 children and their ages span from 3-12. I think you will see as they get older and the younger child can 'do more stuff' that your 'favorite' may go back and forth as their personalities develop and they go through phases of wanting to be close and express their independence. It's a shame that people can't just read the blog as written without trying to act so superior and having the 'Oh, I could NEVER' attitude. Kudos to you for being honest and HUMAN."
Yet another added: "Tell these people with their backs up to lighten up!, Everyone likes one child better at any given time, a 5 year old is easier for most men to relate to than a 2 year old simple as that, I don't think you can comment on who "sucks" without knowing circumstances! Years from now those boys will have your blog to look back on and be able to enjoy your take on their growing up years, it will be priceless for them! Hats off to you for telling it like it is!"
New York Child psychologist Jamie Howard says she worries that outward displays of child favoritism could have developmental ramifications for children as they grow.
"Forming relationships with peers and teachers and other adults could be potentially more difficult for kids if they've somehow gotten this notion that they're not as likeable," Howard told "GMA."
Bishop's wife, Jennifer, told the Daily Mail that she understood her husband's post. "I know where he's coming from, and I know he loves them both the same."
Bishop also stands by his post.
"It's something we all have inside and I'm honest when I write so I wrote about that moment, that struggle I have, and told the stories about my kids," he told "GMA."