ABC News’ Bianna Golodryga, Cameron Brock and Eliza Murphy:
Reality star Bethenny Frankel lives much of her life in the public eye. But for months, Frankel was privately in pain when her second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at eight weeks. Frankel fought back tears Tuesday on her new talk show, “Bethenny,” as she opened up about the experience.
“I accidentally found out from my doctor that it was a girl, so I was thinking about Bryn running around with another girl,” Frankel said, explaining that knowing the sex of the baby was the most difficult part for her.
But the more Frankel talked about the miscarriage, the better she felt knowing she wasn’t the only one to endure such misfortune.
“Women were so supportive, and it was great to go through that with other women,” Frankel said.
Alongside Dr. Roshini Raj, she discussed the devastation it caused her and her husband, Jason Hoppy.
“I’ve honestly had women that I’ve been friends with in the past [tell me] they had a miscarriage. And I kind of didn’t really understand, and I’d say, ‘I’m so sorry, that’s terrible.’ But not until you really go through it do you understand what it means. In your head, it’s a person that could never be. You blame yourself as a woman,” Frankel said.
Frankel blamed herself — and her age — but her doctor assured her there was nothing she could have done. It was not because of her crazy schedule or hectic life. Frankel made a conscious effort to take it easy when she found out she was pregnant. She knew that for women in their 40s, pregnancy-related risks are just higher.
“For me, it’s that I’m older. I’m 41. That was ringing in my head, and that it’s high-risk. But I’m lucky to have my first child. Am I damaged? What’s my husband going to think,” Frankel asked.
Raj quickly jumped in to quell her fears. “It is really hard, because it’s the kind of thing that a lot of people don’t really understand. They don’t have a lot of sympathy,” Raj explained. “Because they think it’s the kind of thing where you can always try again, or that it’s not that big of a deal, but it really is.”
Frankel is optimistic but realistic about the possibility of her having another child.
“I’m healthy and could try again. But I don’t want to be a ‘trying’ person,” the New York Daily News reported her saying.
Dr. Jennifer Ashton, an ob-gyn, told ABC News that even though miscarriages affect millions of women, the topic is still taboo.
“Women might feel that it’s their fault, or they might feel less of a woman or a failure because we envision a pregnancy, even from the second that the stick turns positive, as resulting in a Gerber baby outcome. And unfortunately, I can tell you as a parent and I can tell you as an ob-gyn, that doesn’t always happen,” Ashton said.
But as Frankel recently explained in the July issue of Glamour magazine, “I have a loving husband and a beautiful daughter and our dog and all of us together. So I thought, OK, you can’t win ‘em all. And life went on.”