Mick Jagger presented the top ten list on Tuesday’s edition of “Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS: “Top Ten Things I, Mick Jagger, Have Learned After 50 Years in Rock ‘n’ Roll.”
As he read the list, the Rolling Stones frontman poked fun at the success of the Maroon 5 hit “Moves Like Jagger.”
“You don’t earn a cent when someone does a song about having moves like Jagger,” he said.
The number-one lesson learned by Jagger: “You start out playing rock ‘n’ roll so you can have sex and do drugs. But you end up doing drugs so you can still play rock ‘n’ roll and have sex.”
Keith Richards had been expected to join Jagger on the show, but he was nowhere to be found. The Stones will play the 12.12.12 benefit concert at New York’s Madison Square Garden on Wednesday night, then play two shows in Newark, N.J., later in the week.
Here’s the complete list of the “Top Ten Things I, Mick Jagger, Have Learned After 50 Years in Rock ‘n’ Roll”:
10. “Nobody wants to hear anything from your new album.”
9. “Never take relationship advice from Phil Spector.”
8. “Before shouting ‘Hi Seattle!’ make sure you’re in Seattle.”
7. “You don’t earn a cent when someone does a song about having moves like Jagger.”
6. “Everybody you meet after you become famous is only interested in you as a person.”
5. “Song royalties are great, but even they can’t match the guaranteed cash flow of a reverse mortgage.”
4. “A good way to keep yourself entertained is to sign every 10th autograph ‘Doris Goldblatt.’”
3. “Be considerate of other hotel guests — trash your room by 10 p.m.”
2. “You can’t always get what you want — like a good joke on the top ten list.”
1. “You start out playing rock ‘n’ roll so you can have sex and do drugs. But you end up doing drugs so you can still play rock ‘n’ roll and have sex.”