Hi Liz, Whenever I try to talk to my fiancé about our upcoming wedding, he says he doesn’t care about it and asks me to do everything.  I don’t know what to do. How do I get him to care about our wedding?

Compton, Ill.

Hi- thanks for writing in.  Obviously this is disappointing and confusing, and frankly not terribly unusual.  Depending on what kind of communication you guys have, I would suggest telling him your truth.  What I mean is, you don’t want him to be interested in the wedding because he should be, you probably want him interested in the wedding because it is the celebration of the two of YOU together. Sometimes people need to hear things in the way we really mean them, rather than hearing the “should” in it all.  So give it a try.

What I imagine is the most important thing of all, is to make sure your fiancé is hearing what you say about how you feel.  And in turn you need to listen to him.  Tell him you want to understand why he has no interest, and together you can try to figure out a way to have something about the process appeal to him.

Weddings are can be such a mixed bag.  There is so much expectation, and preconceived ideas.  So many personalities, responsibilities etc…What can get lost in the mix is the whole point.  The whole idea is to take a day out of your lives to honor the commitment and celebrate the fact that you’ve found a person you want to spend the rest of your life with- Remind him and yourself, and I think it will steer things in the right direction! A very wise person once told me, to make sure you have the best running start to begin the rest of your life with someone, make sure before you start that you can communicate through the tough stuff- so here’s your chance!

Luck and Happiness to you both!

Liz