Beware Your Partner’s Sudden Interest in Fitness
EmailAdd this to your laundry list of signs he might not be that into you. A new study claims that a partner’s sudden interest in weight loss could really mean they’re losing interest in you. German Professor Thomas Klein, who studies the link between happiness and body weight, found that people in steady relationships who abruptly begin to diet and exercise are possibly planning to break it up.
“When you are on the lookout for a new partner, people try to be as thin and attractive as possible,” Klein of the University of Heidelberg told the Daily Mail.
So when one half of a couple suddenly shows interest in slimming down, Klein says, it’s often an indicator they’re “preparing for the partner market.’”
The researchers studied more than 2,000 people ages 16 to 55, and found that most single people weighed less than those in long-term relationships.
“People in a relationship feel less pressure and often put on weight as they do not watch their weight so much,” Klein says.
Dr. Abigail Hirsh, director of Power of Two online, says that while weight loss could be a sign they’re preparing for the partner market, it could also be a sign they’re preparing for any number of markets.
“It might be the partner market. But it also might be the job market,” she says. “Or it might be ‘my kids are away at school, and I want to find myself again’ market.”
Relationship expert Leslie Seppinni of Los Angeles agrees, also noting that weight loss might be a sign of many things, but that an affair is a definite possibility.
“It could easily be a sign of cheating,” she says. “The person is no longer feeling bored and dissatisfied. ”Instead, they are feeling alive and want to look their best.”
Ultimately, though, Seppinni believes any major changes in a relationship should not go overlooked:
“Any time your partner makes a change in front of you, don’t sit back and let it go,” she says. “If out of the blue your partner is no longer a couch potato, you should want to know why.”
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I’d have to agree with this article. My husband of 15 years started to exhibit the same type of behavior. I took notice and questioned him. His comment to me was that he was tired of feeling unhealthy and wanted to get in better shape for me and our family. 3 months later I discovered that he was having an on line/emotional affair with a women 11 years younger than him. So listen up ladies and Gents! You have to approach your relationship with eyes wide open!!
Posted by: Harper | November 7, 2011, 5:49 pm 5:49 pm
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. NOT THAT I DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BUT WHEN YOU ARE IN THE “PLAYER’S CLUB,” YOU DO START TO SLIM DOWN AND LOOK AS BEST YOU CAN. IT BASICALLY MEANS THAT YOU ARE AVAILABLE. I’M SURE THAT THIS IS NOT OUT OF THE ORDINARY.
Posted by: Al Sanchez | November 7, 2011, 6:05 pm 6:05 pm
How nice. So when I tell my bride of 40+ years my doctor wants me to get the flab off, she should immediately run to a lawyer for divorce.
What a bunch of hooey. This is a story for tabloids.
Posted by: Just sayin | November 7, 2011, 6:07 pm 6:07 pm
this article is stupid. why can’t somebody just want to look great without somebody else overthinking that she/he might be planning to cheat.
Posted by: Andrea | November 7, 2011, 6:21 pm 6:21 pm
I guess I won’t be getting in shape anytime soon. I wouldn’t want my BF to think I wanted someone else simply because I started working out or walking more.
This doesn’t apply to every scenario. Just because someone wants to get in shape doesn’t necessarily mean they’re cheating. I started working out back in 2006 and my BF at the time swore I was getting out on him. I just wanted to get in shape, lose some weight. I stopped working out and gained all my weight back. Needless to say, he thought I was too fat and he left me for a smaller, thinner woman. Go figure.
Posted by: Shannon | November 7, 2011, 6:44 pm 6:44 pm
What a bunch of crap. Is it possible that people get tired of being fat and unhealthy and want to get healthier? It sounds like the author of this story had this issue and started looking for proof the theory was correct, instead of getting over their own crap and putting together a real study on why alot of people want to lose weight. It’s stories like this that made my husband super suspicious last year when I decided that I had had enough of being 80lbs overweight and caused alot of issues in my marriage. I am now 50lbs lighter, alot happier and healthier, with not a single thought of other men.
Posted by: Jessica | November 7, 2011, 6:58 pm 6:58 pm
Hahaha funny I came across this article because I’ve been doing exactly what is talked about in this article. I’ve been losing weight since I will be entering the single market, I’m not quite ready to enter yet, still have some more lbs to lose before I market myself.
Posted by: Chimi Chonga | November 7, 2011, 7:28 pm 7:28 pm
My ex had an affair with a married woman and the signs were there and he was looking good, getting in shape, and took a special interest in the way he looked, a new cologne, and new clothes. We had been married 13 years. When I was running late or wasn’t home when he called he would accuse me of an affair. That is exactly what they do when they are cheating. I have to agree 100% with this article. Believe what you want but this was true for me. I knew something wasn’t right but I was in denial.
Posted by: Free | November 7, 2011, 8:41 pm 8:41 pm
Completely disagree. I work out more now that I gained 20 lbs. This is for myself and my husband. I want to look and feel great for me. And I want to look great for him. If your spouse isn’t doing it for you also or doesn’t want to be active together, then yes, worry. However, not everyone who gets a fitness bug is looking elsewhere, hence the ‘could be’ aspect to the article…
Posted by: MNMom1980 | November 7, 2011, 9:03 pm 9:03 pm
Seen the “start running/ have an affair” progression several times….sad, but true.
Posted by: jlc | November 7, 2011, 11:14 pm 11:14 pm
I’ve witnessed this happen twice within the past two years, by two close friends of mine. Both were married. Both started to diet, and pretty much physically change their appearances a lot. Then, both ended up divorcing their spouses within a few months. I was actually pretty shocked, by the demise of both couples. I speak to these women all the time, and neither had expressed any marital problems until after they’d separated (one of the women had only been married for 2 years & was the one to initiate the engagement, the other was married for 15 years and had just gone on a second honeymoon). I think this could fall under that so called tell tale sign of infidelity, where it’s said that if someone is cheating on you, they might begin to pay extra attention to their appearance as a whole.
Posted by: Mobalajee | November 8, 2011, 12:14 am 12:14 am
hey, if you let yourself get fat and you’re hitting the gym after the fact I’m already disgusted with you.
Try and raise the bar a bit, K?
Posted by: joe | November 8, 2011, 1:07 am 1:07 am
How about this: you wake up one morning and realize, “OMG! I gained 50+ lbs since getting married and now I’m a fat, sloppy hog. No wonder my spouse never shows and physical interest in me any more! I’m going to lose that weight to look better for my spouse and feel better about myself! And maybe seeing me lose weight and work out will get him/her into it too so we can both be healthier and happier.”
Posted by: Arf40 | November 8, 2011, 9:29 am 9:29 am
I went shopping with my sister for the day at IKEA, she wasn’t even 40 at the time. She had to sit and rest like an old lady and I thought she was going to have a heart attack. She had really let herself go. That motivated the heck out of me, not some guy. I love my hubby and kids, I’d like to be with them for as long as I can.
Posted by: Serious Person | November 8, 2011, 9:51 am 9:51 am
I’m 40 and we just had our son 8 1/2 months ago. i dont want to be that lazy, fat dad on the couch that does not have the energy to chase him and throw the ball around. i’ve been running and working out and lost about 25 pounds. i guess the market i’m in is a healthy active relationship with my son!
Posted by: Lee | November 8, 2011, 11:43 am 11:43 am
I agree with everyone that said that this is another person opinion trying to upset someone else home. Don’t make anymore excuses for a marriage or relationship to be over if it is over and if this did happen to you well then you are probably better off without that person anyway. When one door closes another one will open…doors do shut for a reason.
Posted by: mlrobin1935 | November 8, 2011, 11:49 am 11:49 am
I disagree with this article. Also, I cannot find the study of Prof. Thomas Klein on this topic. Does anyone have a link? With only one study, it supports a possibility and does not prove that people in steady relationships are planning to break it up. Besides, I want to look good for my partner. I wish people, especially a professor, would use their time well in researching more useful things.
Posted by: ANON101 | November 8, 2011, 12:09 pm 12:09 pm
I totally disagree with this article. The fact that I love to exercise is for two reasons only. 1 is that we have diabetes that runs through my family and 2 if I do not exercise I get depressed. My husband has known that since the day we met. In fact he is the one who pays for my gym membership. I am not saying that I am fitness freak but I love the way the adrenaline feels after I get my workout. My husband is my personal motivator and we love exercise to be healthy. I refuse to be a couch potato
Posted by: Linda H | November 8, 2011, 2:07 pm 2:07 pm
Seven months ago my husband weighed 225lbs., well he now weighs 175. YES 175 in seven months. I asked him why and his typical answer was I wanna get in shape I feel tired all the time. The ironic thing is that he used to say he was going to try to weigh 300 lbs. I questioned that and his answer just to see how big I will be and if Ican do it.
Posted by: Hummm | November 8, 2011, 5:47 pm 5:47 pm
If you really loved your partner, you’d be happy that they’ve found a way to feel alive and excited about life. Sadly, misery loves company, so only a few lucky people (men and women) experience a partner who is confident and loving enough to give them the gift of freedom.
Posted by: Mark | November 10, 2011, 5:33 am 5:33 am
Wow so when you want to look good or just become healthier for yourself you’re considered a cheater?!
Hello… Some people do it so that the beloved wont fall out love. Some do it because its necessary. Some do it because they just want to and you know what they stay with their partner because they love them.
This is one of the worst articles EVER
Posted by: Jill W | November 10, 2011, 7:38 am 7:38 am
This is the type of article that makes it hard for couples. I was obese one year ago. I lost weight that does not mean I am looking for a new relationship.
Posted by: damian | November 12, 2011, 8:18 pm 8:18 pm
Maybe. Or maybe not, it was the opposite for me, while married I worked hard to stay attractive and fit; now that I am divorced, it doesn’t seem as pressing.
Posted by: Kay | November 19, 2011, 3:46 pm 3:46 pm
I really can’t beieve how many people can read something and not understand it. The point of the story was your spouce making a major change in their life and you not being aware why. Based on the last paragraph i would say this pertains mostly to couples that don’t communicate.
Posted by: dylan | December 1, 2011, 12:51 pm 12:51 pm