My Fiance Is a Porn Star and I'm Okay With It

VIDEO: Porn Star Couple: Sex Is Different Off-Camera
Share
Copy

Kayden Kross was one of the biggest names in the porn industry. But she left it all behind last year when her fellow porn star Manuel Ferrara, who is now her fiance, asked her to stop performing with other men. Below, Kross shared with ABC News' "20/20? how she made the difficult decision.

Manuel and I met in late 2006 on the set of my first porn shoot. He was confident, handsome, and French. I was shy and clueless. We had sex, and then we didn't see each other again for almost four years.

The next time I saw him, I was closer to his level. It was another porn set, and once again we were scheduled to have sex. Things were different that time around. I, too, had become confident. I'd navigated the adult industry well and worked my way into one of the most lucrative exclusive performing contracts with the top production company in the business. Combined with this were an online subscription site I owned, a merchandise deal that licensed my adult name, and a regular appearance schedule that took me around the world. I was on top-that is-until I fell in love with him and had to choose between continuing my career and settling down.

For some people, that decision seems like no choice at all. For me, it was. The adult industry was never something I simply settled on when other plans fell through, and it was not something I was trying to leave behind. Growing up, I was the child of a single parent family. We had always been financially insecure and my range of experiences had always been limited. We'd felt trapped. [As an] adult, I had found the job that gave me a sense of absolute freedom. But my relationship with Manuel gave me something more. After we'd been dating a year, I finally decided to quit my contract and move in with Manuel. In a few more months we were engaged. Today we have an infant daughter.

For a woman, the choice between continuing on independently and shortchanging her career in exchange for a family will always be there. I know this firsthand, having watched my mother struggle with it when I was growing up, and now as a mother myself. Even when women have broken all of the glass ceilings and are paid and hired with a blind eye to gender, this will remain a choice. This will remain a choice because families take time and dedication, and careers take the same thing. Because there is a choice, there is a risk. People take risks on the partners they choose to build a life with. I've received criticism for taking this risk on Manuel. He has also received criticism for taking the risk on me. The fact is, one's dedication to family and relationships are not tied to one's vocation, past or present. They are daily acts that are done consciously again and again. I took this risk on Manuel because he believes this as strongly as I do.

Join the Discussion
blog comments powered by Disqus
 
You Might Also Like...