I’d Do It All Again, But I’m Glad I Don’t Have To.

By BlogFrog Bloggers

Sep 30, 2011 4:41pm

My pregnancy with my twins was a nightmare. Really and truly. Using the word nightmare seems so bold and vivid and exaggerated, but almost 6 years out, I STILL look back on my pregnancy and remember the worry, the heartache, and the mental anguish that I went through once I found out that I was carrying a rare sort of twins, and I can’t help but be glad that part of my life is over.

The whole experience changed me and refined me and caused my family to draw closer as a unit than we had been; I got two of the cutest little rays of sunshine out of it, but they didn’t come without a price.

As I mentioned, the whole pregnancy was difficult, but I can clearly remember the most difficult moment of the pregnancy. My boys were 25 weeks gestation; I was hospitalized for the duration of the pregnancy and one of the babies hearts almost stopped beating.  I recall that my husband had just left the hospital with our three other children after one of their daily visits.  I had been allowed to take a walk around the halls (a rare privilege) and I had been inpatient for 8 days. I was missing my family, having a hard time being confined to a hospital bed, and feeling sorry for myself when the reason I was in the hospital having my baby’s heart rates monitored happened.

There was compression to the umbilical cords of the babies and one of them started dying.  His heart rate dropped down to levels that necessitated intervention, and suddenly my room was a beehive of activity.  An ultrasound machine was brought in to look at the baby more thoroughly and what I saw will forever be etched in my memory.

I saw two little babies and masses of tangled umbilical cord and I saw one of my baby’s hearts barely beating.  I saw my baby lying there looking so peaceful with an impossibly slow beating heart and I remember that second as the moment in time that changed me.  I realized at that time that there was a very real chance that I’d lose my babies.

One nurse started preparing me for an emergency C-Section, another nurse called the NICU team to be on standby and another nurse started pushing on and prodding my stomach with the ultrasound wand to try to get the babies moving….hoping to get his heart-rate back to normal.  That nurse woke my little Baby B up and saved his life.  The movement was just enough to alleviate the compression to his cord and the scenario that had been playing out was diverted.

I looked at every minute of every day from them on out as a blessing because I knew…  I knew what could happen with a little kink of the cords, a random movement and not enough time.

That was difficult.

My babies beat the odds and made it another 8 weeks before their delivery.  They are the little miracles that made me look at motherhood and life in a whole new way, and made me a better person, but it wasn’t easy.

It was downright difficult.

I’d do it again in an instant though.  For them.  Because that’s what mother’s do.

Becoming pregnant changed my life, and I’d love to hear more about your best or most difficult pregnancy moments. By replying, you will be entered to win an exclusive Million Moms Challenge Gift Pack, which includes an all expenses paid trip to a conference on mothers hosted by the UN Foundation in DC (Jan/Feb 2012), an iPad2, a custom-made Million Moms Challenge pendant and $50 donation in your name to Global Giving.

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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Million Moms Challenge. The opinions and text are all mine. Contest runs September 19 to October 16, 2011. A random winner will be announced by October 18, 2011.

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