If my second child had been my first child, I wouldn’t have known anything was wrong. In fact, I would have thought my symptoms were normal. Because I had already had a successful first pregnancy and delivery, however, my mother’s instinct finally kicked in to challenge any notion that what I was experiencing was “normal.”

You see, with the birth of my daughter, Ainsley, the recovery time was nothing. Although I have had back pain for most of my life, getting my daughter out of the womb and into my arms only brought relief from that last trimester of carrying her. I was really kind of surprised at how I was back to my old self so soon, enjoying being an active mom within a day or two of her birth. When Garrett was born, however, it was a different story. My pelvic area felt heavy inside. I was experiencing the same feelings of pressure that I had felt in those last weeks of pregnancy—like I was still carrying a baby around. I just thought I was healing slowly. After all, I reasoned, Garrett was a bigger baby than Ainsley was, and I was a couple of years older. (Isn’t it interesting how quickly we justify health issues?) Then one Sunday in church, when Garrett was just a few weeks old, I came to a turning point. I was standing, holding him, and I couldn’t even make it through the worship song we were singing.

I was hurting so badly that I had to sit down. So I did what we all do when we can no longer rationalize our way out of a medical concern: I called my doctor. His diagnosis? I had a fractured or broken tailbone. Turns out, it happens pretty frequently to women during childbirth. Once he started explaining things, I remembered that Garrett’s birth had taken a lot longer than Ainsley’s. With her, I pushed around 20 minutes, but with Garrett, I pushed over an hour and a half. Plus, the doctor reminded me that Garrett’s shoulder had gotten stuck a couple of times as he was making his entrance into the world. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do about a fractured or broken tailbone. Besides pain medication, rest, and plenty of patience, you just have to wait it out. But I learned that if you feel like something is not right, go have it checked out. My tips:

• Ask your doctor what a “normal” recovery should look like.
• Ask your friends about their experiences. Everyone has a different story, and you can learn a lot from what others have gone through.
• Don’t assume that your second, third, or fourth pregnancy will mimic any of the others.
• Be proactive. Ask questions and take notes at your doctor’s visits.

If I had experienced these symptoms with my first child, then I may not have called the doctor. My assumptions of “normal” would have limited my finding out the truth. Whether you’re experiencing physical or emotional pain, don’t just assume that it’s normal. Those instincts that are telling you that something is not right shouldn’t be ignored. If you’re concerned, there’s probably a reason for it.

Becoming pregnant changed my life, and I’d love to hear more about your best or most difficult pregnancy moments.  By replying, you will be entered to win an exclusive Million Moms Challenge Gift Pack, which includes an all expenses paid trip to a conference on mothers hosted by the UN Foundation in DC (Jan/Feb 2012), an iPad2, a custom-made Million Moms Challenge pendant and $50 donation in your name to Global Giving.

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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Million Moms Challenge. The opinions and text are all mine. Contest runs September 19 to October 16, 2011. A random winner will be announced by October 18, 2011.

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